Sexting~ Haley Oscar

 

 

 

Sexting is something I’m sure most of you have seen going around either on the news, through your friends, or you yourself have done. So what’s the big deal with sexting? No one’s getting hurt, you’re not doing anything physical, you’re still “Pure”, and it’s just between you and the guy, right?

Do you know that what you send out is never just between you and someone else? I’m sure you’ve heard this said a thousand times, but you need to be wise about what you put out there. With the world we live in today hardly anything is kept private, we have a need to post on facebook , twitter, or text what is going on in our lives each day and it’s there for the entire world to see.

 

So what’s the big deal with sexting and/or sending risqué photos? Most people sext instead of having a physical relationship while dating. You are fooling yourselves if you think that holding off on everything and just "talking" about sex means you're keeping your relationship sexually pure. It's very similar to the couple who thinks doing everything but sex will keep them pure. But that's a very loose, unbiblical, and unhealthy definition of purity. The reality is that you've just discovered a different way of exploring the sexual side of dating. It might not feel sexual since you aren't even in the same room when you're sexting, but sex isn't just a physical activity. All that talk will make it more and more difficult to stick to the promise you've made to not have sex. When you tell each other what you'd like to be doing, it's only a matter of time before you start thinking about actually doing it.

You have to remember that your brain is a very powerful sexual organ, it has the power to turn you on with out any physical action. The bible is very clear on controlling your sexual thoughts,

Matthew 5:28-29 says "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman (or man) lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell."

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people” –Ephesians 5:3

For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God... For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.- 1 Thessalonians 4:2-8

So if you’re caught up in this sexting game sit down with you boyfriend and have an honest talk with him, pray about it, and if needed find an adult to help you guys along.

But like I always say, PRAY PRAY PRAY! Be wise about what you send out there, cause you never know who will see it.

15 Winter Date Ideas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Arts and crafts are always something fun and silly to do together. Your man might not be the most creative out there but making paper snowflakes or any other craft will bring out his playful/creative side!

 

2. I don’t know one guy who doesn’t like to go sledding at least once every year! This date is cheap and easy, all you need is snow, a hill and a sled. Now GO!

 

3. Visit a book store! Go to a book store together and pick out a book together that you both would like to read together. My boyfriend and I enjoy picking out couple’s devotionals and reading them together. It’s a great way to straighten any relationship.

 

4. Volunteer at an animal shelter once a week. Most people are huge animal lovers, so unless you or your date has an allergy to animals this would be a fun and free date idea!

 

5. Movie night with family is a safe date to do in the Winter. Find the nearest Redbox and buy a good comedy or drama along with a bag of popcorn. This is a great way for you and your date to get to know the others family.

 

6. Have a game night, take that game of Scrabble or Apples to Apples and play together or with family and friends. Game nights help to learn more about each other and make great memories to go alone with it.

 

7. Make dinner together. My boyfriend and I always find this one fun. You can cook something out of the old family cookbook or make up your own recipe!

 

8. Make fireplace s’mores! If either one of you has a real fireplace light it up and cook some s’mores!

 

9. Who doesn’t enjoy a trip to the mall!?

 

10. Ice skating is a great way to learn to trust each other a little more. If you’re like me and have never been ice skating and your boyfriend does this date could make for a good learning experience for you!

 

11. Have a video game tournament with him. Nothing will touch his heart more than plopping down on the couch next to him and challenging him to a game Call of Duty!

 

12. Bowling is also another way to challenge your man’s skills!

 

13. Museums a fun way to spend the day together. You can learn together and play together depending on what museum you visit!

 

14. Build a snowman! If you get snow in the winter like I do there’s nothing like going outside, being creative and making a snowman. Use food coloring or spray paint and give old Frosty some color. Visit a GoodWill or other thrift store and buy Frosty a hat and coat. Have fun with it! Paint him your favorite Football team’s colors or paint a bunch of different things on him.

 

15. Go see a sports game. This may be a bit on the pricey side, but nothing beats a local basketball (Sadly not this year) or football game!

 

Whatever you do this year remember to keep it safe and have fun with everything you do. Don’t take things too seriously, if something doesn’t work out the way you planned it make the best out of it. The messed up dates are normally the ones that make for the greatest memories!

 

 

Did you know that Haley loves all animals?!

 

Don't Take the Abuse~ Haley Oscar

Abuse. Many of use hear about it or are even going through it. Many of us don't know what to do about it either. Maybe you know someone who's in a abusive relationship or you yourself are in one.

These are the facts:

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.

Three to four million women in the United States are beaten in their homes each year by their husbands, ex-husbands, or male lovers.

One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States.

One in every four women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime.

1992, the American Medical Association reported that as many as 1 in 3 women will be assaulted by a domestic partner in her lifetime -- 4 million in any given year.

85% of domestic violence victims are women.

Police are more likely to respond within 5 minutes if an offender is a stranger than if an offender is known to a female victim.

Battering occurs among people of ALL races, ages, socio-economic classes, religious affiliations, occupations, and educational backgrounds.

A battering incident is rarely an isolated event and battering tends to increase and become more violent over time.

25% - 45% of all women who are battered are battered during pregnancy.

Domestic violence does not end immediately with separation. Over 70% of the women injured in domestic violence cases are injured after separation.

Nearly 7.8 million women have been raped by an intimate partner at some point in their lives.

Boys who witness domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own partners and children when they become adults.

Children who witness violence at home display emotional and behavioral disturbances as diverse as withdrawal, low self-esteem, nightmares, self-blame and aggression against peers, family members and property.

One in ten calls made to alert police of domestic violence is placed by a child in the home. One of every three abused children becomes an adult abuser or victim.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found in a national survey that 34 percent of adults in the United States had witnessed a man beating his wife or girlfriend, and that 14 percent of women report that they have experienced violence from a husband or boyfriend.

More than 1 million women seek medical assistance each year for injuries caused by battering. (Federal Bureau of Investigation; U.S. Department of Justice National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS); Horton, 1995. "Family and Intimate Violence")

Nearly three out of four (74%) of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence. 30% of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year.

Let's face it, those facts are scary! But how do you know that someone or yourself is in an abusive relationship?

Questions to ask yourself:

Have you ever been physically hurt, such as being kicked, pushed, choked or punched, by your partner or ex-partner?

Has your partner ever used the threat of hurting you or members of your family to get you to do something?

Has your partner ever injured or abused your pets?

Has your partner ever destroyed your property or things that you care about?

Has your partner tried to keep you from seeing your family, going to school or doing other things that are important to you?

Do you feel like you are being controlled or isolated by your partner? For instance, does your partner control your money, transportation, activities or social contacts?

Have you ever been forced by your partner to have sex when you did not want to or to have unsafe sex?

Is your partner jealous and always questioning whether you are faithful?

Does your partner regularly blame you for things that you cannot control, or for his/her violent outbursts?

Does your partner regularly insult you?

Are you ever afraid of your partner or of going home? Does he/she make you feel unsafe?

There are other signs of domestic violence that observers might see in a relative or friend who is in an abusive relationship.

They include:

being prone to "accidents" or being repeatedly injured.

having injuries that could not be caused unintentionally or that do not match the story of what happened to cause them.

having injuries on many different parts of the body, such as the face, throat, neck, chest, abdomen or genitals.

having bruises, burns or wounds that are shaped like teeth, hands, belts, cigarette tips or that look like the injured person has a glove or sock on. (from having a hand or foot placed in boiling water)

having wounds in various states of healing.

often seeking medical help or, conversely, waiting to seek or not seeking medical help even for serious injuries.

showing signs of depression.

using alcohol or other drugs.

attempting suicide.

If you're in a abusive relationship, or know someone who is, my heart goes out to you and I am praying for your protection.

Many of us can spot the signs of abuse, but most of us are afraid to act and get yourself or someone else's help. Sometimes the offender is so violent that you're afraid that if you act it could cost you or someone you know their life. Some woman have to slowly make an escape plan, some just simply have to speak up and tell a friend or family member, and others NEED to have the law involved.

How to leave an abusive partner:

Leaving an abuser can be dangerous. In order to do it as safely as possible, you should plan ahead and take the following precautions:

Pack a bag ahead of time that will be available to take with you when you decide it is the safest time to leave. Include items such as extra clothes, important papers, money, extra keys and prescription medications.

Know exactly where you will go and how you will get there.

Call a local women’s shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) to find out about legal options available to you.

While making plans to leave, avoid making long-distance phone calls from home of using a cell phone. An abuser could trace long-distance calls to find out where you are going or intercept your cell phone conversations using a scanner. (In extream cases) Also, be aware that the abuser may be able to monitor your Internet activities and access your e-mail account.In an emergency situation, always call 911 or your local law enforcement agency. If you are not in immediate danger, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-Safe (7233), which provides crisis intervention and referrals to in-state or out-of-state resources, such as women’s shelters or crisis centers.

Once you finally get away, I urge you to seek counseling. Remember to cling to God in this hard time you or a friend may be going through.

If it's your friend reach out to them as best as you can and try to get them help.

As I always say, prayer is the biggest tool you could ever use. God is there with you and can help you through this. Be smart about it and think about the importance of your life. God has so much better for you! If you would like more people to pray for you, please email the LAT staff here and we will defiantly pray for you!

I've listed below some websites that may help you even more.

http://www.thehotline.org/

http://www.safehorizon.org/index/get-help-8/for-domestic-violence-35.html?gclid=CIfBkYnb_6sCFYXrKgodXwG3kw

http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National)

http://www.yourlifeyourvoice.org/Pages/default.aspx

http://www.womenthrive.org/index.php?option=com_issues&view=issue&id=5&Itemid=115

http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm

Did you know that Haley's favorite animal is a white tiger?!

Should I Date?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In todays culture, it's hard to get out of higschool without the pressure to date, and in highschool, dating can be one guy for all four years, or it can mean meaningless, selfish relationships, just going through guys like new underwear. By the time you are finished with school, you're in the double digets of how many guys you've been with!

 

It is love that should drive Christian teens to date, but it should not be the shallow version of love. When you date, it should be taken seriously. You should know the person you are dating and know their beliefs.

You should check your potential boyfriend against the values listed in 1 Corinthians 13. Ask yourself if the two of you are patient and kind to one another. Are you envious of one another? Do you boast about one another or to each other? Go through the characteristics to measure your relationship.

 

The number one thing you should look at is yourself. Why do you feel the need to date? Does your need come from pressure from school, friends or family? Are you mature enough to handle caring for someone else, and being in a steady relationship with that person? Do you like this guy because of his ultra hottness, or because he has a gentle spirit and a leading personality that you would one day love to see in a future partener? Does he share the same faith as you? (2 Corinthians 6:14) Make sure you are only dating those who share your beliefs. Otherwise you may find that your relationship is a struggle rather than a joy.

 

I can't say this enough, PRAY before you act one something that 'everyone else is doing' or pushing you to do. If God says no than that means no. He knows what he's talking about and he's protecting you from future harm or heartbreak. Be careful of recreational dating, where you date for the sake of dating. God calls us to love one another, but the scripture is clear that He asks us to be careful. While love is a beautiful thing, the breaking off of relationships is hard. There is a reason they call it a “broken heart.” God understands the power in love and the damage a broken heart can do. This is why it is important for Christian teens to really pray, know their hearts, and listen to God when they decide to date.

 

Did you know that Haley HATES rollercoasters?!?!

Purity~ Haley Oscar

We see stars talking about it. We hear it bashed. We see rings that are a symbol of a promise made to God, but what is purity, and why a ring?

  I first heard of a promise ring through people like the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus in 2007. I loved the idea! All the stars were wearing them, so why not?! So I went out and bought myself the cheapest ring I could find and told people why I wore it. Even though I wore a ring, didn't mean I made the promise to God. It was just something everyone seemed to be doing, so I wanted in on the newest fad!

I wasn't living what I led people to believe I was doing. Boyfriend after boyfriend, mistake after mistake, and regret after regret. I was stuck in this hole, a stupid repeat. I thought this was how to do it. Look at people like Miley, or even the Jonas brothers. They claim to be living pure, yet they are doing what I was too. Going from person to person and doing what I wanted and then asking what went wrong and pointing fingers at others instead of myself. I made my focus to much on what others were doing than what I needed to do for myself.

 Now, I'm not saying that in order to be pure you have to wear a ring. You don't even have to go to an extreme. Look at God's word and pray on it. He'll tell you what He wants for your life and He'll reveal it to you through His Word. For some, people kissing is okay, but to others it should be something saved for the alter. That choice is up to God and what He wants for you. Really spend some time with Him and ask Him. Everyone knows what their point of no return is. For some it's close hugs and others it's kissing; I suggest, if you know what it is, don't go past it!

I know two people who just got married this year that didn't even hold hands until they were engaged and didn't share one kiss until their wedding day. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed at a wedding. When the preacher said, "You may kiss your bride", the grooms face lit up and he went for it! When he did, joy filled the entire room. They were given a standing ovation by everyone in the room! They did the extreme and you could tell by the feeling in the room that God was pleased.

I still wear my purity ring, but for a different reason other than it's the new fashion. My ring is a constant reminder to me that I am saving myself for one man. That I will not go past this point until God gives me the go and I make that life time promise in front of my family, friends and God. When I'm getting myself into temptation, the first thing I feel is this ring on my finger. It gets suddenly uncomfortable to wear and I want to take it off. It is then when I know I've gone to far or I need to stop.

Believe it or not, most guys like it when a girl has a purity ring. It lets them know that she is serious about her future sex life and that she's not going to waste it on something that may or may not last. I asked my boyfriend, Jake, to comment on my promise ring and he had this to say. "It does make me stop and think. Yes, I am proud of you and extremely honored because you are wearing it to be wholesome, pure and fruitful for your future husband."

Don't be afraid to tell people your promise to stay pure, whether it's making a statement by wearing a ring, necklace or bracelet. You can even tell a guy, before you start dating him, that you are saving yourself for marriage.

I suggest that, when you start dating or if you already are, that you read the book Technical Virgin and Datable by Hayley DiMarco. These books changed my dating life forever!

One reader of these books said:
"I love this book (talking about Technical Virgin). It IS written in the language of teens - very easy to read and very much to the point. It is more like reading a magazine than a book. It took me about an hour to read through this book in its entirety. My favorite part of this book is that scripture is interlaced throughout the book. And my favorite, favorite part is the last 15 pages or so titled, "Your SPIRITUAL Entourage: Because God's Got Your Back." It's just a quick list of scriptural references divided into categories such as: Confessing Your Stuff, Failure, Getting Back to God, Strength for Today, Feeling Temptation, Breaking Up, Pre-date Preparation, Friends Making Fun of You, Wanting God's Forgiveness, Forgiving the Guy, Feeling Guilty, and Fighting the Memory.Great book!! Great author!! I also recommend DiMarco's Dateable book series!!"

I read this book in a day and it changed my views on so many things I thought we were fine but really, we weren't. This book sells for about $10 dollars here or you can check your local library.

Hayley DiMarco talks real to teenagers. Some things may be to much for some young readers, since she talks on some major sexual issues that young people face today. She has a heart for God though and always points it back to God's will for your life. It's a truly amazing book!

Staying pure is honestly hard. When something feels good, it's hard to say no to it.

"Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” ~Matthew 26:41

Keep watch and pray over any date you go on. Watch for trouble, signs that you or him could be tempted. Be aware of where and how you touch him or he touches you. Speak up if you don't like something, or if you're being tempted. Remember, you are not alone. Many other people struggle with temptation everyday. Temptation is not a sin, giving into it is. If you're being tempted, find a way out! God always gives an escape route, you just have to want to take it!

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13

NEVER be afraid to ask God to help you in a sticky situation. I know it can be hard to ask God for help to say no, but do it because, like that verse says, He will provide a way out!

"You will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." ~Isaiah 58:9

"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." ~Psalm 50:15

"For I am the Lord you God who takes hold of your right hand and says, ' Do not fear I will help you" ~Isaiah 41:13

God is our help in time of need, our strength in hard times. Trust in him and call out when you need his help! Pray for your future husband, This can sometimes help keep you from temptation. When you have your head in the future you are less likely to do something for the here and now. Pray for his health, safety, purity and what ever comes to mind. I find it to be a huge help to keep my head in the the game. And honestly girls, you can never go wrong with to much prayer. So remember to pray always and with out ceasing! (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" ~Philippians 4:6-7

This list below helps me to remember the promise I made when I REALLY committed my purity to God. I still read it daily.

~My kisses are worth more than a party or movie.

~My body is a temple of God not a plaything.

~The first "NO" may be hard but after that, it gets easier.

~Virginity is still a virtue; lust is still a capital sin.

~The way I dress, act and speak may be a temptation to my boyfriend. I will observe modesty for his and my own protection.

~My parents have done so much for me I wish to always be a credit to them.

~My boyfriend will be a husband and father one day. He must be a hero in the eyes of his wife and children. I will do nothing to prevent that on my dates with him.

~I want to be a wife and mother some day and I will reserve my purity for my husband.

If you have already given your purity away, remember that God forgives. Don't beat down on yourself because you 'screwed up'. God forgives and moves on. He can use that for you to teach others. He can use our mistakes to bring Him glory! Just ask for forgiveness and live for Him. He will embrace you with loving arms! If you would like to know more about this, please contact either myself or Haylie at liliesamongthorns@ymail.com. We would love to speak with you!

I hope this helped many of you. I pray for all of you girls often, as well as the rest of the staff here on LAT. We pray that God will protect you and and that you will continue to grow in Him!

~Haley

Did you know that Haley kissed a frog before?!?!