Thursday, October 14, 2010

Love According to First Corinthians 13~ "Table for Three; Me, You and God"~ A Column by Haley Oscar

For my first article I was gonna tell you my life story so you could get to know me a little better; but as I started to write I realized that it would take forever for you to read. When talking face-to-face with someone about my life story it normally takes about two hours. So, I'm just gonna give you the basics of who I am. My name's Haley Oscar, I'm a 17 year old girl from a city in Wisconsin, USA. I've lived here my whole life and never plan on leaving. My "love life" as been far from successful through the years. I've been through it all for the most part. I've been cheated on and have cheated, I've been abused and emotionally scared, I've been used as an object and have used, I've dealt with lustful thoughts and actions. But through the grace and love of God I've been freed of the baggage I've picked up from these many relationships. I’m far from perfect and I'm still learning how to be a good girlfriend and someday a good wife to the man I will someday marry. Through it all I've learned a few things about guys and God has given me a real passion to share my life and experiences with you. I hope and pray that you will get something out of my thoughts, I hope it makes you think and maybe even change. I'm truly thinking and praying for you, God bless!

1 Corinthians 13, many of us know this as the love chapter. It happens to be one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. It shows us how to be a friend and how to show love. What is love to you?

I know that, as females, we all want love. We all want prince charming to hurry is big butt over to us and do his job of happily ever after. But what else is love to you? Is love a fixer to all your problems? Is it something you give out freely hoping and praying that you'll get it back in return?

Love is patient. If you haven't found "the one" yet don't go on a mad hunt looking for him.(Song of Songs 8:4) God knows when you'll be ready for a real, mature, promising, and long lasting relationship with a man. Give God your time as a single. Enjoy this time of freedom you have to do things for God. Be patient, your prince charming is also waiting on God to give him the go to pursue you.

Love is kind. God wants us to have kind and peaceful hearts toward everyone we come across. Even to those guys who we may think are pigs. We need to be respectful toward all men, are you? Do you dress or act in ways that would be kind and respectful to him thought life? Is dressing or acting in a way that would make your guy friends or boyfriend lust after you showing kindness or love? If it's attention you seek out of mean words, actions, and showing too much skin with your clothes, you will get the attention you seek, but trust me you don't want this attention. This attention that you may be seeking out of this has messed up relationships that would've ended well if treated right. Even in some cases I've seen it ruin lives.

Love does not envy or boast and it is not proud. This one's pretty simple; do not want something your friend has. Be happy that they've been blessed, because you, in your own way, have been blessed. Do not boast about the things you have or can do; doing such things will make your friends sin by envying you, and doing such a thing is not showing love in anyway.

Love is not rude or self seeking. Why are you in or want a relationship with a guy? Is it to fit in, feel love, to get back at someone, or to fulfill lustful thoughts or wants? Love is not, and I repeat NOT self seeking; meaning you should not be in a relationship for you. It's not about you. When you're married, you're that persons help mate until the day you or him dies. You're HIS help mate...Not the other way around; you're in it to help, encourage, love him, and fulfill his needs. He should be the same for you. Again, you're not in it for you; you're in it for him. When you love someone, you shouldn't even matter. It should be about helping him. If you're not ready or think you can't do that, then you're not ready for a real relationship.

Love is not easily angered and it keeps no records of wrongs. In a relationship and marriage you will hit hard times. There will be fights and wrong things said and done. You must forgive quickly and listen to him. Men are just as hot headed as we can be and they also need you to hear them out. When they do something wrong you can't keep bringing it up or using it as a weapon. Constantly bringing it up will ruin a guy’s self esteem and make him feel useless. Like I said before, be quick to forgive and let go, doing this will show real love.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. If you love someone, you're not gonna be happy when the one you love does something wrong. If he's doing something or saying things that are wrong to you, do not accept it! It's not gonna change. Talk to him and tell him the truth as to how you feel and if he doesn't see your way or agree with your views, I'm sorry it's not meant to be. But, maybe it's not him; maybe it's you doing the things that bother him. I believe that, in every relationship, the couple should sit down with each other and talk about what kind of bugs them about the other. This shouldn't be a point the finger time, but a time of truth and acceptance of each others failures.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres; Love never fails. You must always protect the reputation of your man; this means if he ticks you off don't go and tell all your friends what a jerk he is. Keep your relationship problems to yourself; if you go around telling everyone your problems then your friends will start to look down on your boyfriend or husband. If he is ticking you off don't go around messing up his reputation. Sit him down and talk things out and PRAY about it. Doing this will help you guys to grow closer.

Always try to trust your boyfriend or husband. Don't just think he checked out the "babe" that just walked by you guys. Trust in him and if he really loves you, he will keep his eyes on you and not someone else. If you're worried about it, sit him down and tell him your worries. He'll like that a whole lot better than you just thinking the worse of him.

And finally, love always hopes for the best, it always perseveres herself in thought, body and mind, and it never fails. You will run into hard times in a relationship no doubt, but if you're mature about the problems you may have with the other and push to work things out through communication and prayer, I believe God can do anything.

I hope and pray that I gave you some things to thing on and prayer about. You girls are in my prayers. Until next time.

With Sisterly Love,


  1. Your post reminds me of the song by Jump5, Wonderful.Good post.Sierra

  2. love this, great job! I know I've personally begun thinking about this more as I've been getting towards the age where my parents have said I may date if i want to. good stuff to think about!

  3. If you're thinking about dating I would look into courting insted. Read the book boy meets girl it changed my life and veiws on dating. I'll probably do a article on it someday.

  4. Great job Haley...Very well written. It's amazing how far you've come in just the last year. Even still I know it's easier to say than do...I pray that you as well as all your readers will always be open to outside advice. We can't always see our own mistakes. Keep up the good work!