10 Lies Hollywood Tells Us~ Nataleigh Robinson

If you live on this earth (which you probably do) then you have probably experienced your fair share of expectations.  Your parents expect you to clean your room, your friends expect you to be there when they need you, your pastor expects you to pay attention in youth group and God expects you to share the good news of His son. 

All these things are rather reasonable expectations but often we can feel like we’re getting mixed messages.  We get one message from our friends at church and a completely different message from our friends at school.  Our parents tell us one thing while our teachers tell us something different.  Our pastors present one way of gaining success while society presents an entirely different way to gain success. 

The Devil uses a variety of lies to confuse us into living our lives in a way that is less than holy.  But we can’t expect to realize these things as lies if no ones ever pointed them out to us.  Not to worry that’s what this article is here for.  Here are ten lies that Hollywood tells us

1. You have to be a size one to be considered attractive.  A hundred years ago people held a very different opinion of beauty.  It was considered much more attractive to have a little fluff.  But in 1959 something happened that forever changed the way beauty was viewed.  This life changing event took place in the form of a still very popular toy named Barbie.  Barbie was stick thin with the perfect hourglass shape and drop dead gorgeous.  Every girl wanted to look just like her.  And so the search for beauty began. We’ve all experienced insecurity at one time or another, it’s part of being a girl, its part of living in a sinful world.  Since sin entered the world women have struggled with wanting to be attractive.  There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to look good, after all God tells us to take care of our bodies since they are the temples of God (1 Cor 6:19-20).  I think this includes watching out weight but it doesn’t mean obsessing over it.  God made each of us with different builds and not all of us will be able to healthily fit into a size one.  What’s important is that we except the body God has given us.

2. Being a virgin is something to be ashamed of.  Turn on the TV for any extended amount of time and you will quickly realize that our society is obsessed with sex.  Adult shows and movies are full of sex scenes and explicit sexual jokes.  Kids movies are less obviously filled with sexual undertones and innuendos.  Even some commercials have an underlying sexual message.  Living in a world filled with never-ending sexual messages and friends who are constantly hooking-up, it can be difficult not to feel like you’re the only virgin left on the planet.  

I can assure you that you are most definitely not.  There are hundreds of students who are still virgins.  In 2009 34% of high school students admitted to being sexually active and even if there were another 10% who had had sex but hadn’t admitted it that still roughly 56% of high school students who are still virgins. That’s over half of your school.  Just remember that the next time you’re thinking of giving in just because your ashamed of your virginity.  You’re not alone and God values your purity more than anything else.

3. Marriage doesn't last forever.  God created marriage.  God realized how lonely Adam was and decided that he needed not just a friend but a partner, someone who was so close to Adam that it was like they were one person.  As if to illustrate just how close he wanted Adam to be to his wife, He decided to create her out of one of Adam’s ribs showing that she was an important part of him that could never be replaced by anyone else.  No friend could ever be closer to him than her.

Today divorce is as normal as changing your socks.  People get married, start fighting, decide it’s not working and give up rather than sacrifice a bit of themselves to rekindle their love for each other they would rather tear away from that part of themselves and move on to someone else.  100 years ago people would have never thought of divorcing someone so easily they worked at it until death parted them no matter how difficult it was.  Marriage doesn’t have to end in divorce, it is possible to have a life long commitment if you’re both willing to work at it.

4. It is weird when parents show affection for each other. Television loves to make fun of parents who have a happy and healthy relationship.  Whenever parents start to get a little cozy, the kids always have to walk in and tell them how gross they are, forgetting that they were just sitting in the backseat of a car doing the exact same thing and worse but without the wedding certificate.  For some reason seeing a married couple who’s over the age of 40 show any affection for each other is inappropriate and disgusting, but it shouldn’t be.

We should be willing to encourage our parents to show their love for each other because that’s how we know they still do.  Far too many marriages end in divorce because someone thought they were getting too old for affection and the other moved on.

5. It is ok to lie as long as no one finds out. If you think this isn’t a lie then you’re lying to yourself because according to the Bible it’s not ok to lie.  In fact lying is one of the “thou shalt not’s” in the 10 Commandments.  So many times in the shows we watch we see our favorite characters lying to teachers, parents and even friends in order to save their own necks.  The plot line often follows like this: an especially naughty character that’s known to be a troublemaker convinces the main character to lie because “I never get caught” and “it’s so easy”.  The main character gives in and the lie works and they realize wow that wasn’t so bad after all and so they continue to lie and lie and lie until finally they’re caught and then suddenly they’re sorry and now that they’re in trouble they realize it was a mistake.  But we’re often left wondering whether they really learned their lesson or if they’re just sorry that they didn’t get away with it

6. A high school pregnancy will not turn your life upside down.  In the last 10 years there has been a strange influx of movies and shows about teen pregnancy each with its own way of showing that pregnancy is kind of cool, even in high school.  With Juno in 2007, Secret Life of the American Teenager premiering in 2008 and Pregnancy Pact in 2010, teenagers are more aware than ever that teenage pregnancies can and do happen.  While each of these movies and shows are pro-life encouraging students to keep the child despite their age and their mistakes none of these shows reveal the realistic side of what happens when you have a child while still a child yourself.  Whether a girl decides to raise the child herself or give it up for adoption there is no denying that her life will be forever changed and she will never be able to go back to her old life or her old friends despite what Hollywood tries to tell you.

7. It is unacceptable to not 100% accept someone else's beliefs.  Society is constantly trying to confuse us into thinking that when we disagree with someone about something we are in essence telling them that we don’t love them.  So many people will even go so far as using scripture against us, they’ll remind us that we’re supposed to love everyone because God is love.  While this is true and as Christians we have more reason than anyone else to show unrelenting love to those who are different from us, but the problem comes in when we allow people to scare us into submission.  God tells us to preach the gospel boldly, he told us we would experience hardships and persecution because of our faith.  He didn’t tell us that our Christian walk would be simple but he promised he would be waiting for us at the end of the road and he promised that his son would be interceding for us and that his Holy Spirit would be walking beside us all the time.  Everything we do and say should be said out of love and selflessness but if we truly believe that we have the answer than we should not be afraid to share our opinions and we have just as much political right to share as they do, despite how they try to convince you otherwise.

8. Love is an emotion that can't be controlled.  As girls it can be hard not to get caught up in the romance of a good story.  Many of us are romantic saps all the way to the bone and even those who pretend not to be really do want someone to love them deep down inside.  No one knows better than Hollywood how desperate each girl is to find her Prince Charming who will be different from anyone she’s ever met and will be absolutely perfect.  From a young age girls are indoctrinated with stories of princes who ride in and save the princess from some terrible danger and ride away with her to live “happily ever after”.  By the time we’re in high school we have such twisted ideas of love that it’s no wonder that many of us end up with our hearts broken and our confidence shattered.  Hollywood tells us that we can’t choose who we fall in love with it just happens but if that were true then God’s command to love everyone would be very difficult to follow.  If we can choose to love our grouchy neighbor who complains whenever we step on his grass then we can certainly choose not to give our hearts away to someone that isn’t following God

9. If you’re single there must be something wrong with you.  In a society that relies so heavily on relationships it is no wonder that not having someone to call your boyfriend can make us feel like there might be something wrong with us.  When we see our friends with their special someone it can be difficult not to feel alone.  But there is so much more to life then dating relationships and there is so much more to relationships then the butterflies.  God made us for relationships but that isn’t limited to dating relationships.  God wants us to build our relationship with Him, our family and our friends before we even begin to think of having a dating relationship

10. Sex will not affect you emotionally.  Hebrews 13:4 tells us “to keep the marriage bed pure” this means to not give away that which was meant to be saved only for our husbands.  Society tries to convince us that sex will not really affect us, that we can just do it and not really think of it after that.  The truth is that sex outside of marriage can be very emotionally painful.  Don’t fall for the lie that if you give in he’ll stay with you.  The truth of the matter is that guys like to have something to pursue once you give them what they want they’ll have nothing left to fight for and since you’re married they’ll have nothing keeping them with you and so they’ll leave.  Don’t fall for the same lies that so many girls before you have fallen for.  Keep the mystery, good Christian men would much rather prefer the mystery anyway.

Did you know that Nataleigh wants to open her own home for teenagers?!?!

Love According to First Corinthians 13~ "Table for Three; Me, You and God"~ A Column by Haley Oscar

For my first article I was gonna tell you my life story so you could get to know me a little better; but as I started to write I realized that it would take forever for you to read. When talking face-to-face with someone about my life story it normally takes about two hours. So, I'm just gonna give you the basics of who I am. My name's Haley Oscar, I'm a 17 year old girl from a city in Wisconsin, USA. I've lived here my whole life and never plan on leaving. My "love life" as been far from successful through the years. I've been through it all for the most part. I've been cheated on and have cheated, I've been abused and emotionally scared, I've been used as an object and have used, I've dealt with lustful thoughts and actions. But through the grace and love of God I've been freed of the baggage I've picked up from these many relationships. I’m far from perfect and I'm still learning how to be a good girlfriend and someday a good wife to the man I will someday marry. Through it all I've learned a few things about guys and God has given me a real passion to share my life and experiences with you. I hope and pray that you will get something out of my thoughts, I hope it makes you think and maybe even change. I'm truly thinking and praying for you, God bless!

1 Corinthians 13, many of us know this as the love chapter. It happens to be one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. It shows us how to be a friend and how to show love. What is love to you?

I know that, as females, we all want love. We all want prince charming to hurry is big butt over to us and do his job of happily ever after. But what else is love to you? Is love a fixer to all your problems? Is it something you give out freely hoping and praying that you'll get it back in return?

Love is patient. If you haven't found "the one" yet don't go on a mad hunt looking for him.(Song of Songs 8:4) God knows when you'll be ready for a real, mature, promising, and long lasting relationship with a man. Give God your time as a single. Enjoy this time of freedom you have to do things for God. Be patient, your prince charming is also waiting on God to give him the go to pursue you.

Love is kind. God wants us to have kind and peaceful hearts toward everyone we come across. Even to those guys who we may think are pigs. We need to be respectful toward all men, are you? Do you dress or act in ways that would be kind and respectful to him thought life? Is dressing or acting in a way that would make your guy friends or boyfriend lust after you showing kindness or love? If it's attention you seek out of mean words, actions, and showing too much skin with your clothes, you will get the attention you seek, but trust me you don't want this attention. This attention that you may be seeking out of this has messed up relationships that would've ended well if treated right. Even in some cases I've seen it ruin lives.

Love does not envy or boast and it is not proud. This one's pretty simple; do not want something your friend has. Be happy that they've been blessed, because you, in your own way, have been blessed. Do not boast about the things you have or can do; doing such things will make your friends sin by envying you, and doing such a thing is not showing love in anyway.

Love is not rude or self seeking. Why are you in or want a relationship with a guy? Is it to fit in, feel love, to get back at someone, or to fulfill lustful thoughts or wants? Love is not, and I repeat NOT self seeking; meaning you should not be in a relationship for you. It's not about you. When you're married, you're that persons help mate until the day you or him dies. You're HIS help mate...Not the other way around; you're in it to help, encourage, love him, and fulfill his needs. He should be the same for you. Again, you're not in it for you; you're in it for him. When you love someone, you shouldn't even matter. It should be about helping him. If you're not ready or think you can't do that, then you're not ready for a real relationship.

Love is not easily angered and it keeps no records of wrongs. In a relationship and marriage you will hit hard times. There will be fights and wrong things said and done. You must forgive quickly and listen to him. Men are just as hot headed as we can be and they also need you to hear them out. When they do something wrong you can't keep bringing it up or using it as a weapon. Constantly bringing it up will ruin a guy’s self esteem and make him feel useless. Like I said before, be quick to forgive and let go, doing this will show real love.

Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. If you love someone, you're not gonna be happy when the one you love does something wrong. If he's doing something or saying things that are wrong to you, do not accept it! It's not gonna change. Talk to him and tell him the truth as to how you feel and if he doesn't see your way or agree with your views, I'm sorry it's not meant to be. But, maybe it's not him; maybe it's you doing the things that bother him. I believe that, in every relationship, the couple should sit down with each other and talk about what kind of bugs them about the other. This shouldn't be a point the finger time, but a time of truth and acceptance of each others failures.

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres; Love never fails. You must always protect the reputation of your man; this means if he ticks you off don't go and tell all your friends what a jerk he is. Keep your relationship problems to yourself; if you go around telling everyone your problems then your friends will start to look down on your boyfriend or husband. If he is ticking you off don't go around messing up his reputation. Sit him down and talk things out and PRAY about it. Doing this will help you guys to grow closer.

Always try to trust your boyfriend or husband. Don't just think he checked out the "babe" that just walked by you guys. Trust in him and if he really loves you, he will keep his eyes on you and not someone else. If you're worried about it, sit him down and tell him your worries. He'll like that a whole lot better than you just thinking the worse of him.

And finally, love always hopes for the best, it always perseveres herself in thought, body and mind, and it never fails. You will run into hard times in a relationship no doubt, but if you're mature about the problems you may have with the other and push to work things out through communication and prayer, I believe God can do anything.

I hope and pray that I gave you some things to thing on and prayer about. You girls are in my prayers. Until next time.

With Sisterly Love,
Haley.

"We All Have Problems"~ Advice Column by Nadia

Dear Nadia:

I want to talk to my mom about dating but how can I bring up the subject without making her think I want to date right away?

Wondering

Dear Wondering...
If you don't have a great relationship with your mom, you might want to start small and just start trying to talk to her more - asking her about what her life was like when she was your age, how she dealt with issues that you're dealing with right now - drama at school, doubting your faith, etc. - or just small-chatting with her about anything, from favorite colors to current events. If you're already pretty close to her, you could ask her about what her mom used to say to her about guys, advice her mom had for her about dating and stuff, when your mom started dating, her tips about it, or whatever. If you don't want her to think that you're interested in it, you can tell her that right off the bat. Hopefully she'll understand! God bless you!

Dear Nadia:

Ive seen so many things that say or imply that God loves everyone. Does he REALLY love everyone? Even the non-Christian? Murderers? Terrorists?

Freaked

Dear Freaked, there's a line from a song that says, 'God's love is amazing, steady, and unchanging.' So, God loves us all from birth and if His love is unchanging, that means He loves us 'till we die, right? Yup. It may seem unimaginable, but God loves EVERYONE... that means Every. Single. Person. In. The. Whole. Wide. World. He sees the good in each person, no matter how little of it there is. He gave us free choice and even when we abuse it, He still loves us and longs for us to come back to Him. God's love is unconditional and there are SO many scriptures about it in the Bible - John 3:16, the stories of the Prodigal Son and Mary Magdalen. However, even though God loves everyone, in the end all people receive their judgement (which is according to God's standards, not ours) which means that God will examine the motives and underlying details in the lives of those murderers and terrorists and He will send them where they deserve to be. Bottom line - it may seem totally unbelievable and unfair and humiliating that God loves us just as much as he loves people who kill babies, He loves slave masters just as much as He loves the best Christians... but think, isn't that an amazing love that can look past even the most flagrant crimes? And that love belongs to Y-O-U! In the end, though, God will bring each and every person to justice. God bless you!

If you have a question you would like to ask Nadia, Please email her. Label your email 'DEAR NADIA'.

"The Girl Bound in Silk"~ A Short Story by Rachel Allen

Note to the reader: This story is best if it's read like a fairytale.

Once upon a time, a beautiful baby girl was born. She was the apple of her father's eye. The poor child's mother died in childbirth. Her father was heartbroken, but he knew that his daughter was his first responsibility. He fed her well and cared for her and loved her. But before he did any of that, he tied her wrists together with her mother's old silk scarf, one end tied to each wrist securely. His friends and family asked him why, but he just shook his head and told them, "In due time."
As the girl grew, her bonds grew tighter. He loosened them, of course, so she wouldn't be in pain, but he made sure that she could not take them off. He was still very kind to her, and she grew up with the silk scarf always present.

When she turned 10 years old, she began to question her father's intent, picking at the scarf and asking him why it was there. He always smiled, kissed the top of her head, and told her, "In due time."
Three short years later, the girl was growing impatient. She asked her father kindly to take the bonds off, but the answer was the same. She resorted to yelling and screaming at him, calling him names and telling him he was a cruel father. He would calmly send her to her room and told her, "In due time."
Finally, on her 16th birthday, she was sitting calmly eating breakfast. The scarf had grown almost too short to fit her, but she had stopped fighting it, accepting the fact that she would be bound until her father's word.
At that moment, her father walked in and told her "Happy Birthday." They ate breakfast in silence. When they were finished, he said, "I have a present for you. Hold out your hands and close your eyes." She obeyed, expecting to feel the cold metal of a locket, or perhaps the square corners of a wrapped box. She felt nothing.

Her father told her she could open her eyes. She opened them, but there was nothing to see. "Father, what is my present?" she asked.

He smiled, a smile that reached his eyes and went from ear to ear. He held up the scarf that had held her for sixteen whole years and said, "Freedom." Slowly, the scarf fluttered to the floor and lay in a crumpled heap. The girl stared at her hands for a moment, then threw out her arms and twirled. She danced around the room and swung her arms with all her might. Finally, the girl gave her father the biggest hug of his life. After a moment, she leaned back, looked him in the eye and asked him, "Why?"

He smiled, took her by the shoulders, and spoke. "When your mother died, you became mine and my own. I knew that here would be no one else to help me raise you. I could teach you what you needed to know, like how to read and write and cook and ride a horse and take care of it. But your mother wasn't there to teach you the rest. I bound you so you would learn to be strong, patient, loving no matter what, and know that there would always be something fighting you, holding you back. I love you, and I just wanted you to be the woman I knew you could be."

The daughter stood for a moment, then threw her arms around her father and cried. "I love you too, daddy."

The point is, God will use discipline to teach us strength, patience, kindness and love. But no matter what method He chooses, whether it's silk or a testimony or a someone fighting you, He does it because He loves you. And that's the truth.