I’m a planner. I want to know what I’m going to do and when. I’ve known what college I want to attend, what kind of a guy I’m going to marry, how many kids I’m going to have, and what I want my career to be. That’s just who I am, and I’ve never really had any problems with it, until now.
Recently, I got a rejection notice from the college I’ve wanted to go to since I was fourteen. I applied early decision and they said now; that they would reconsider me for regular admission. I got this news and I fell apart. All my plans, all my dreams, were gone for the moment. I had backups, but they were mostly for show, and I didn’t really want to go there. My immediate future got thrown into the unknown, and I’m going crazy.
During the month I’ve been waiting for this letter, my mind has been plagued with “what ifs”. Those “what ifs” have now become reality, and that, my friends, was NOT in my plans. I went through shock, major disappointment, and anger. I took my dog for a walk and just vented at God, telling Him all the things that should happen in my life, and halfway through that walk, I realized what I was doing.
I was telling God what to do. Note to everyone reading this: telling God what to do isn’t a good idea. My mind immediately flips to Job and how he and his friends were talking about how life was supposed to work, and what God says is “Don’t tell me what to do. I know more than you, idiot,” except God was extremely more eloquent.
Life is full of change and disappointment. God’s the only one that knows the outcome of our lives and our actions. He’s the only one that needs a plan for us, because He knows what’s best and He’s in control. I have no idea what He’s got planned for me, but for now, I’ve simply got to live by faith and trust that God knows what’s best. Are you willing to do the same?
For this new year, what’s something that you need to give to God? What’s something that you’ve been holding on to, not willing to realize that by holding onto that. You may be keeping yourself from fully experiencing a life dedicated to living for Christ? It’s not easy, but ask Him to help you let go, and if you’d like any of us to pray for you, please email us and let us know. I wish you the best of blessings.