Tuesday, February 15, 2011

We All Have Problems~ An Advise Column by Nadia

Dear Nadia,

 My boyfriend and I broke up a while ago and now he is starting to show interest in my best friend. I care for them both but I don't want them to be together. I know my best Friend wouldn't do anything but... I keep thinking she will! What should I do?

Caught in the Middle

Dear Caught In The Middle,
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with this. I know if it were me, at this point I would probably still be struggling with my feelings for my boyfriend. Maybe you guys ended the dating relationship on a good note, maybe not, but either way I'm sure it's tough to see your boyfriend starting to have feelings for your best friend.
You said that you know your best friend would never do anything and I agree - a true friend wouldn't do something to hurt you. I suggest that you talk to your friend about how you're feeling. Explain your emotions to her, not in a way that would make her feel bad or guilt her out of going out with your ex-boyfriend, but just be honest with her. As it says in Proverbs 18:24, a friend will stick closer than a sister. I also encourage you to take this to the very best Listener there is - our Father in Heaven. Pour out everything to Him and let Him see into your heart. Lay bear whatever is there - if there's any pain or regret, or even just tell Him how much you miss the good times you two had together. Maybe in talking it out, you'll realize that you are able to let go. Maybe it's time for you to let go of this guy, and just place everything in God's hands. You can "Lay aside any weight (anything that's holding you back or bringing you down)... and run with endurance the race that is set before you." (Hebrews 12:1)
This also might be a good time to put God in control of your love life if you haven't already. You can say a simple, heartfelt prayer committing your life to Him and asking Him to find you the perfect man sometime in the future. I read a quote that said, "Dance with God, He'll let the perfect man cut in." I think that is so true, and something all of us should do. I'll be praying for you as you work through this situation, and one thing to keep in mind is that no matter what happens, God is in control, He will work through it for the best, and it will all pass.
God bless,
Dear Nadia,
I want to start trusting God more but I'm not really sure how to or where to start. Do you have any tips or advice for me?
Trust in the Lord

Dear Trust in the Lord,

I really have a hard time trusting in God too! And I'm pretty sure we're not the only ones, either. It's super difficult to trust in someone you can't see, but there are some things we can start with in order to try to trust God more. Right now, I encourage you to look back on your life. Try to remember all those times that God has been faithful to you - the times He answered your prayers in little ways, the ways He has blessed you. When you're struggling at all in your walk with God, I think it helps to count your blessings. Also, read God's love letter to you (the Bible). He has given us tons of great verses that remind us that He's not going anywhere, that He's watching out for us, and that He loves us and has plans for us.
One of my favorites is Jeremiah 29:11 - "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future.'" Another thing I've noticed about trusting God is that, for me, it's really easy to fall into the trap of depending on my friends or my achievements to tell me who I am. Then what happens is when that friend isn't there or when I don't get as good grades as someone else, I start to feel really insecure. I've finally decided that I'm through with that, and even though I have a feeling it's going to be a struggle quitting that bad habit, I've discovered that God is the ONLY one we can depend on. Trust in His faithfulness and commit yourself to Him. It will be hard, but you can rely on Him - look around at all the beauty He's put in this world, just for you :) And look at the incredible sacrifice He made by sacrificing His son for us. Do you believe that He is who He says He is? Because God NEVER breaks His promises, and He has told us and proved to us that He is powerful and faithful and loves us through everything.
"Since God assured us, 'I'll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,' we can boldly quote, 'God is there, ready to help; I'm fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me'" (Hebrews 13:5) Learning to completely trust God is, I think, a journey that all of us are on and one that will take a lifetime. God bless you and I'll be praying for you!

:) Nadia

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