Dear Nadia

Dear Nadia,

Any advice on helping me feel more at ease around guys? Right now there are only a few that I feel comfortable around. Not including the ones younger than me.

Signed,
Uncomfortable



Dear Uncomfortable,

Boys are really confusing and I think you'll hear that from any girl you talk to! We are all a family in Christ (Romans 12:5) and I think we bless them by being there for them as their sisters. We can just be friends and to become more at ease with them there are a few things you can do:

Be yourself - I know that sounds really cliché, but just being yourself around guys will help, both you and them, feel more comfortable. If you are confident in the beautiful person God made you to be (Psalm 119:13), people will see that and be at ease around you. Along the same lines, it's clear when a girl is trying to conform, jump on the bandwagon, or be someone she's not, and that kind of turns people off. It is really beautiful when your heart is set on God, and you are rooted in Him (Proverbs 3:26). When your foundation is on your Father, that shines through (Proverbs 31:30b). That will set you at ease,and living a life for Him asserts your values. That might set some guys on edge, but the ones that are worth hanging around should respect you and your beliefs, and will admire your love for the Lord.

I also went straight to the source and asked one of my guy friends for tips. He said that guys enjoy being around girls they can talk to. Talking about something you are passionate about, or something that you and the guy have in common - a shared hobby, favorite musician, etc. is a great way to start a conversation. Also, asking the guy questions about himself - his likes and dislikes, how his day was, etc. - will encourage him to keep talking, and make him feel special and loved (in a brother-sister way). Guys are really blessed when they find a good sister in Christ who is truly cares for and listens (James 1:19) to them. We can be those caring sisters! Remember, kindness is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)!

So next time you are feeling awkward around a guy, remember 1) chances are he is also feeling nervous/uneasy, 2) be confident in the beautiful girl you are and 3) stay true to yourself. The God-light in your heart will shine through and that is definitely something that most guys admire, 4) ask questions - it's a great way to spark a good conversation.

Good luck and God bless you!

:) Nadia