Purity~ Haley Oscar

We see stars talking about it. We hear it bashed. We see rings that are a symbol of a promise made to God, but what is purity, and why a ring?

  I first heard of a promise ring through people like the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus in 2007. I loved the idea! All the stars were wearing them, so why not?! So I went out and bought myself the cheapest ring I could find and told people why I wore it. Even though I wore a ring, didn't mean I made the promise to God. It was just something everyone seemed to be doing, so I wanted in on the newest fad!

I wasn't living what I led people to believe I was doing. Boyfriend after boyfriend, mistake after mistake, and regret after regret. I was stuck in this hole, a stupid repeat. I thought this was how to do it. Look at people like Miley, or even the Jonas brothers. They claim to be living pure, yet they are doing what I was too. Going from person to person and doing what I wanted and then asking what went wrong and pointing fingers at others instead of myself. I made my focus to much on what others were doing than what I needed to do for myself.

 Now, I'm not saying that in order to be pure you have to wear a ring. You don't even have to go to an extreme. Look at God's word and pray on it. He'll tell you what He wants for your life and He'll reveal it to you through His Word. For some, people kissing is okay, but to others it should be something saved for the alter. That choice is up to God and what He wants for you. Really spend some time with Him and ask Him. Everyone knows what their point of no return is. For some it's close hugs and others it's kissing; I suggest, if you know what it is, don't go past it!

I know two people who just got married this year that didn't even hold hands until they were engaged and didn't share one kiss until their wedding day. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed at a wedding. When the preacher said, "You may kiss your bride", the grooms face lit up and he went for it! When he did, joy filled the entire room. They were given a standing ovation by everyone in the room! They did the extreme and you could tell by the feeling in the room that God was pleased.

I still wear my purity ring, but for a different reason other than it's the new fashion. My ring is a constant reminder to me that I am saving myself for one man. That I will not go past this point until God gives me the go and I make that life time promise in front of my family, friends and God. When I'm getting myself into temptation, the first thing I feel is this ring on my finger. It gets suddenly uncomfortable to wear and I want to take it off. It is then when I know I've gone to far or I need to stop.

Believe it or not, most guys like it when a girl has a purity ring. It lets them know that she is serious about her future sex life and that she's not going to waste it on something that may or may not last. I asked my boyfriend, Jake, to comment on my promise ring and he had this to say. "It does make me stop and think. Yes, I am proud of you and extremely honored because you are wearing it to be wholesome, pure and fruitful for your future husband."

Don't be afraid to tell people your promise to stay pure, whether it's making a statement by wearing a ring, necklace or bracelet. You can even tell a guy, before you start dating him, that you are saving yourself for marriage.

I suggest that, when you start dating or if you already are, that you read the book Technical Virgin and Datable by Hayley DiMarco. These books changed my dating life forever!

One reader of these books said:
"I love this book (talking about Technical Virgin). It IS written in the language of teens - very easy to read and very much to the point. It is more like reading a magazine than a book. It took me about an hour to read through this book in its entirety. My favorite part of this book is that scripture is interlaced throughout the book. And my favorite, favorite part is the last 15 pages or so titled, "Your SPIRITUAL Entourage: Because God's Got Your Back." It's just a quick list of scriptural references divided into categories such as: Confessing Your Stuff, Failure, Getting Back to God, Strength for Today, Feeling Temptation, Breaking Up, Pre-date Preparation, Friends Making Fun of You, Wanting God's Forgiveness, Forgiving the Guy, Feeling Guilty, and Fighting the Memory.Great book!! Great author!! I also recommend DiMarco's Dateable book series!!"

I read this book in a day and it changed my views on so many things I thought we were fine but really, we weren't. This book sells for about $10 dollars here or you can check your local library.

Hayley DiMarco talks real to teenagers. Some things may be to much for some young readers, since she talks on some major sexual issues that young people face today. She has a heart for God though and always points it back to God's will for your life. It's a truly amazing book!

Staying pure is honestly hard. When something feels good, it's hard to say no to it.

"Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” ~Matthew 26:41

Keep watch and pray over any date you go on. Watch for trouble, signs that you or him could be tempted. Be aware of where and how you touch him or he touches you. Speak up if you don't like something, or if you're being tempted. Remember, you are not alone. Many other people struggle with temptation everyday. Temptation is not a sin, giving into it is. If you're being tempted, find a way out! God always gives an escape route, you just have to want to take it!

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." ~1 Corinthians 10:13

NEVER be afraid to ask God to help you in a sticky situation. I know it can be hard to ask God for help to say no, but do it because, like that verse says, He will provide a way out!

"You will call, and the LORD will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." ~Isaiah 58:9

"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." ~Psalm 50:15

"For I am the Lord you God who takes hold of your right hand and says, ' Do not fear I will help you" ~Isaiah 41:13

God is our help in time of need, our strength in hard times. Trust in him and call out when you need his help! Pray for your future husband, This can sometimes help keep you from temptation. When you have your head in the future you are less likely to do something for the here and now. Pray for his health, safety, purity and what ever comes to mind. I find it to be a huge help to keep my head in the the game. And honestly girls, you can never go wrong with to much prayer. So remember to pray always and with out ceasing! (1 Thessalonians 5:17)

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" ~Philippians 4:6-7

This list below helps me to remember the promise I made when I REALLY committed my purity to God. I still read it daily.

~My kisses are worth more than a party or movie.

~My body is a temple of God not a plaything.

~The first "NO" may be hard but after that, it gets easier.

~Virginity is still a virtue; lust is still a capital sin.

~The way I dress, act and speak may be a temptation to my boyfriend. I will observe modesty for his and my own protection.

~My parents have done so much for me I wish to always be a credit to them.

~My boyfriend will be a husband and father one day. He must be a hero in the eyes of his wife and children. I will do nothing to prevent that on my dates with him.

~I want to be a wife and mother some day and I will reserve my purity for my husband.

If you have already given your purity away, remember that God forgives. Don't beat down on yourself because you 'screwed up'. God forgives and moves on. He can use that for you to teach others. He can use our mistakes to bring Him glory! Just ask for forgiveness and live for Him. He will embrace you with loving arms! If you would like to know more about this, please contact either myself or Haylie at liliesamongthorns@ymail.com. We would love to speak with you!

I hope this helped many of you. I pray for all of you girls often, as well as the rest of the staff here on LAT. We pray that God will protect you and and that you will continue to grow in Him!

~Haley

Did you know that Haley kissed a frog before?!?!