The Lonely Track~ Short Story by Nataleigh Robinson

The clock struck one and Addison glanced around the room again nervously.  He had said midnight, midnight exactly but as she looked around the room again she was beginning to doubt if he would ever come.  She glanced at her watch again and decided that she was done waiting around. 

She turned toward the door stopping only for a minute to look back over her shoulder hoping that someone would notice her departure, someone would stop her and tell her they wanted her to stay but just as she had expected no one paid her any attention. 

“Can I pull up you car miss?”

She snapped back to attention turning toward the valet who was standing behind her.  “Yes, Weems please.”  He spoke into the small speaker pinned to his jacket asking one of the drivers to “please pull up Miss Weems vehicle.” She watched the dancing guests spinning around the dance floor in the Waltz.  She sighed and took her coat from the man who had just brought it to her and turned to get into her car. 

As she drove the familiar road home her thoughts turned to Blaine once again.  She should have expected it, it was typical.  Every guy who had ever promised her anything always let her down in some way or another.  She should have known Blaine would be no exception. 

She was 20 years old and she was ready to settle down, get married and have children, but try as she might nobody was willing to stick around for long.  She had started online dating not long after her 20^th birthday deciding that if she didn’t start taking some control of her love life sooner than later than she would probably end up an old maid.

The thought of being single for the rest of her life usually made her feel sick to her stomach she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to die alone without having experienced true love and children and grandchildren.  What a lonely existence that would be.

When she had met Blaine through one of the online dating sights she had promised herself that she wouldn’t get worked up about him, she didn’t want to be disappointed.  But the more they had talked and the more they got to know each the harder she found it not to imagine herself marrying this guy and living happily ever after.  Finally after a couple months they had agreed to meet. 

She had spent hundreds of dollars on the perfect dress, spent hours searching for the perfect shoes and had booked her hair and nails appointment months in advance.  The evening was supposed to be glorious.  As she neared the punch bowl at five till midnight with heart pounding she had envisioned Prince Charming coming up and sweeping her off her feet.  But as the minutes ticked by she slowly started to realize that she had been stood up…again.

As she parked her car and headed inside to her small one bedroom apartment, she couldn’t erase the feeling of rejection and couldn’t help but feel like maybe there was something that she was doing wrong that was causing all the guys to run the other direction when they started getting to know her. 

           

She kicked off her heels and headed to the bathroom where she stood staring at herself in the mirror for a moment, “What am I missing?” She asked her reflection, “I think I look ok maybe not drop-dead gorgeous like some girls but it’s not like I’m hideous or anything.”

She took her time to change out of her dress all the while thinking through her potential flaws and trying to figure out what it was that caused Blaine to reject her.  By the time she crawled into bed she had practically convinced herself that she would never be able to attract a man.  “Maybe it would have been better if I hadn’t been so picky about the type of guy I wanted.  I’m sure it was my conviction to stay pure that scared Blaine off.  If I could do it over again I wouldn’t have been so hard to date.  Maybe I would be married by now” By the time she drifted off to sleep her pillow was soaked through with her tears. 

When she woke up the next morning she felt terrible.  Her sheets were tangled and in an attempt to untangle herself she ended up tumbling onto the floor.  She stood up in confusion wondering how she had misjudged where the edge of the bed was and scrambled to her feet.  The sun was shining through her single window and she decided that today would be a good day for a jog. 

“I’ll take a nice long jog and then I’ll come back and update my profile,”  She thought as she pulled on her tennis shoes,  “maybe there was something I’ve missed that’s been turning people off or maybe there’s something I need to add to it.”

She ran for probably a good hour before stopping and by then she was standing outside a small park with a little girl sitting on a swing.  There was a bench close by and she crossed the distance and flopped down on the bench.  The little girl hopped off the swing and rushed over stopping just a couple of feet from the bench, “What are you running from?”  She asked curiously.

Addison laughed softly, “I’m not running away from anything.”

The little girl climbed up onto the other end of the bench and stared intently at Addison, “You have to be running away from something, you were running like someone was chasing you, were you playing a game?”

“No I wasn’t playing a game,”  She was about ready to tell her once again that she wasn’t running away from anything but then realized that it wasn’t true.  “I guess I was running from something.”

The girl scooted a little closer and repeated her original question, “What are you running from?”

Addison sighed and leaned forward resting her chin in her hands, “Something I can’t get away from.”

The little girl looked around nervously her blond pigtails swinging back and forth as she looked for any sign of danger, “I should be getting home,”  She said slowly edging off the bench.

Addison laughed gently and shook her head. “I’m not running from a person, I’m running from a problem.”

The little girl looked relieved and climbed back onto the bench, “How do you run away from a problem?”  She asked pulling her legs underneath her and placing her small hands on her knees. 

Addison looked out at the park as a squirrel dashed up a tree startling a bird that flew away; she sighed and looked at the little girl that was staring at her eagerly.  “I’m not actually running away from anything.”  She stared down at her hands wondering why she was so nervous to talk to a little girl, it wasn’t like she would even understand what she was saying, “I’m just running to distract myself from thinking about my problem.”

The little girl nodded as if she understood and then to her surprise said, “I do that too.”  She looked down at her hands studying them as if they had suddenly become interesting, “except I don’t run I come here and swing on that swing,” She turned and pointed at the swing she had been previously sitting on.

Addison turned to look at the little girl staring at her curiously, “What do you have to distract yourself from?”

The little girl shrugged and didn’t look at Addison, “A lot of stuff,”

“Like what?”  Addison pressed sensing that this little girl had a lot of things on her mind.

She didn’t say anything

“Well I’m here because I’m tired of being alone.”

The little girl brightened, “Well you’re not alone anymore, I’m right here.”

Addison smiled at the little girl, “thanks but that’s not what I meant, I meant that I want to be married.”

The little girl scrunched up her nose, “I don’t think I’ll ever get married.”

Addison laughed, “You won’t say that when you’re older.”

“Mommy says boys are stupid and don’t ever keep their promises.”

“That’s not true of all boys.  There are good guys out there.”

The little girl thought for a moment then said, “Well than I would rather wait until I find one of the good ones.  And if I never find one then I’ll just live by myself forever and ever.”  She paused for a minute considering something then said, “My daddy ran away and never came back when I was just a baby.  My mommy got married when I was three and now they’re getting a divorce now mommy cries all the time when I asked why they didn’t just apologize and make up she said because she didn’t trust or love him anymore, but I think she’s lying because I still here her crying when she doesn’t think I’m listening.”

Addison sat there in speechless shock and then finally regained her composure, “That’s a lot for a little girl to carry by herself.”  She just nodded, so Addison continued, “you make my problem sound really small.”

The little girl laughed and to Addison it seemed like the sweetest sound she had ever heard, “mommy says that adult problems are always bigger than kid’s problems.” 

Addison grinned, “Well that’s not true in this case.”

The little girl looked over at a house across the street and hopped off the bench, “I should be going or mommy will get worried.”

Addison nodded and watched as she raced across the park, stopping for only a moment to look both ways before dashing across the street and disappearing inside a house.  Addison just sat there for a moment.  “God forgive me,” She whispered, “I’ve been so focused on being in a relationship that I haven’t been thinking clearly.  I almost set aside my purity but you’ve reminded me that it would cost me more to give myself away then it would cost to keep myself pure.” 

She stood up then and started the jog back toward her apartment once she got back inside she pulled up the online dating sight and hit the delete button, “God I’m going to trust you now.  I’m going to trust that you will bring the right guy my way when the time is right.  And give me other things to focus my attention on until that time.” 

 Did you know that Nataleigh's favorite movie is "To Save A Life"?!

Did you know that Gina's mom is also her best friend?!

Photograph property of Lilies Among Thorns Magazine. Photograph taken my Gina Vasquez.