Monday, January 9, 2012

With All My Heart: Waiting for the Man God Has for Me~ Hogan Stevens

Just the other day, I was talking with my father, telling him that if the time ever comes when a boy shows interest in me that I would like to be courted. I've had this dream for quite some time now, and whenever I voice it, many people give me skeptical looks or make a scoffing remark. Not everyone understands my desire to have and to give my heart to just one man in my life. I've even had some tell me, "Well, good luck with that" as if I am delusional in thinking that there are any decent young men left in this world that would share my beliefs.
When I told this to my dad, his simple response was enough to give me more hope in believing my future husband is out there, waiting just for me.
"There are lots of guys out there that feel the same as you, Hogan. Don't worry."
He said this with such confidence that I knew it must be true. Just looking at my kind, loving father I know that there are still men out there that are capable of giving that special, one of a kind love that I wish for my future. They are out there, girls; we just have to be patient and trust that God will bring them to us in His time.
Of course, there are many boys out there who see dating as an opportunity to get with as many girls as they can, to see just who they can sway with their charms and claim as their own. I know that may sound a little harsh, but it's true, and I am sorry for that.
Just as equally, there are girls out there who want to be with as many guys as possible just because it is "cool" or expected by their peers. They are willing to give their heart to any boy that gives them the time of day, and they are sometimes willing to even do whatever he wants just to please him for fear that he will leave if she refuses.
And then when that boy loses interest, her heart breaks...and she tries to find another that could be her Prince Charming, that could be "the One".
Nowadays, society deems such dating acceptable. Boy meets girl. Boy flirts with girl, asks her on a date. Before you know it, they're an item doing everything together, acting as though they are head over heels in love--when they are actually just acting upon infatuation, not love. And relationships based purely on simply a crush or lust is a relationship that will not last.
But there is another way.
Instead of going out with whomever you please and setting yourself up for disappointment when you realize you do not know a person as well as you thought, you can choose to go about the whole dating thing cautiously.
For me, I make it clear to others that I have standards. I am not just some girl that can be taken by whoever takes a fancy to me. No, I stay low under the radar, not going anywhere near dating. To me, the term for dating has been corrupted. To nearly everyone now, dating is simply a game, a way to pass the time. A way to lose your heart.
You see, by going from guy to guy, having your heart broken and in turn breaking hearts, a girl gives a piece of her own heart away to every guy she goes out with. And years from now, when she is married and with children she may come to a rough spot in her life and look back on those years she spent dating all of those boys...and she might long for another man that is not her husband.
I don't think any girl wants that, right? You must guard your heart most diligently, protect and keep it for that one man that God has chosen for you. Love is something sacred and precious and not to be given lightly.
That is why, with all of my heart, I would love to be courted.
Perhaps you have not heard of courting, so I will try to explain it as best I can--though I might not have all the details a hundred percent accurate. In my mind, courting goes something like this: A girl and boy become friends, nothing more. They get to know each other as any friend would and they develop a bond accordingly. And then over time, they might both acknowledge that they have feelings for one another and that they might be ready for a serious relationship. It is then that the boy might ask if he could start courting the girl to see if they would be compatible for a romantic relationship. By courting her, he would take her out to public places (most likely accompanied by friends or family members) and they would try to see if they would make a good couple. Everything would be taken slowly; they might not even choose to kiss--or even hold hands--until they were engaged or even married. They would pray about it, of course, asking God if it was His will they were together. Courting is not something that is taken lightly. The boy and girl would be thinking of this relationship in terms of the future, to see if they would do well as a married couple.
Obviously, this is greatly varied from how dating is perceived by most teens and even adults. Of course, I am not saying that everyone who chooses to date is going about it in the wrong way, but I believe that courting is so much safer. Safer for you. For him. For your hearts. Because when you take your relationships as seriously as that, it is much more difficult for you to lose your heart to someone that you barely know and who could not be the one for you.
Never let others tell you that your beliefs are a waste or that you should stop trying so hard to go by God's standards. Because He already has your story planned just have to be willing to give all of your trust to Him, to give Him your whole heart for protection until you find that man that He has for you. And when you find him, if he truly loves you he will listen to your beliefs and not try to force you into something you are not comfortable with.
Someday, I hope to marry the man that loves me unconditionally and that loves God even more. I want to be able to tell him that I waited for God to bring him to me and that I saved myself and my heart--my whole heart--just for him. It's possible, believe me. Even if you have already dated others and maybe even given parts of yourself away, it is never too late to ask your Heavenly Father to guide you in the right direction when it comes to finding the right one for you. God cares--He truly does--and He will never lead you wrong.
All it takes is faith, trust...and a little patience.
Did you know that Hogan wishes she had a '73 Corvette StringRay?!
Did you know that Jess's favorite season is summer?!

Photograph property of Lilies Among Thorns Magazine. Photograph taken by Jess Mc


  1. BEAUTIFUL! I LOVE THIS! HOGAN YOU MADE MY DAY! God bless you girl :)

  2. Thank you so much for this! I've also chosen this path, and a post like this just brings up the need for maturity in relationships.

  3. I'm glad you all liked it! It's so good to know that there are others out there who have chosen to guard their hearts and trust in God in this. :)