Plain Jane~ Story by Lea Sadler

"A 'C+'?" I look from my report on my desk back to my teacher in astonishment. I had spent hours everyday editing, crossing out, ripping apart, piecing together that essay and all I had earned was a 'C?' I detest history. It seems like no matter how much time and effort I put into it, no matter how many stressful and long nights I study I never get the grade I deserve. Anything lower than an 'A' will not satisfy me. My brothers, John and Andy, never received a 'B' in their lives. Mom and Dad eventually stopped bothering to look at the report cards they brought home because they knew the pattern of one variable: "A, A, A, A, A,..."

John and Andy always had never-ending lines of comments like, "John is so much fun to have in class," "Andy is always aspiring for self-improvement," "John really encourages other students to be interested in AP chemistry," "Andy challenges himself to reach new limits." And me? My reports are never missed by my parents. I can always see the disappointment in their expressions, the lines of worry as they crinkle up their faces and sigh as they fold the report back up and set it on the counter as a reminder to talk to me about it later. "Jane's effort is noted."

Mr. Robinson glances at me from behind his desk. "Jane, I can tell you put a lot of effort into the assignment, but you still weren't quite there."

"But I'm pretty sure I deserve more than just a 'C'."

"I gave you the grade that you earned."

It's pointless to argue or plead. I briefly consider laying on the ground sobbing and begging, but that wouldn't accomplish anything except diminishing my dignity. I bite my lip, searching for any way to get out of telling my parents about the continuation of my never-good-enough grades and toss my backpack over my shoulder as I head out the door. And then I remember: John and Andy are coming home from college tomorrow for Christmas break. Great.

*

I let myself in and leave the essay on the counter. Someone will notice it eventually. In the backroom, Mom is obsessing over dust in between the DVD player and the TV stand. Dad is probably locked in his office fumbling over tape, pretty paper, and boxes. The roar of the vacuum dies and a door clicks open. "Jane?"

"Yeah, Mom?" I reach for the cabinet where the dinnerware is kept thinking a cold bowl of milk and cereal would maybe help numb the dissapointed look I would no doubt receive from my mother in a few seconds.

Mom stomps down the hallway in a cleaning craze: scrubbing the floor there, wiping the wall there, dusting a corner here as she makes her way to the kitchen. "Can you take care of the bathroom for me?" She looks tired. Her eyes are bloodshot, her hair is strung out in every direction and she didn't bother with makeup.

"Sure."

She smiles. "Thank you. What's this?" Her eyes fall on my essay.

I sigh. "My history report. I got a 'C.' "

"Oh," Mom picks it up and quickly flips through it. Here eyes scan a paragraph or two and she points at one with her index finger. "You probably should have more supporting evidence here."

"I know." I grab my bowl and backpack and head to my room, I don't feel like listening to how pathetic I am right now. Falling on my bed, I slip into sleep, grateful that tomorrow is Saturday. But I dread my brothers' return.

*

Ding Dong! I set my paints down and stare at the paper in front of me. Orange, yellow, and red paint is splattered all over it. There's some kind of whirl-wind looking design in the bottom left corner and sprinkles of pink over the top right. I smile. If I'm not good at schoolwork, then at least I can have peace knowing that I'm fairly decent with acrylic paints and a brush. I whip my apron off, tear the hair-tie out of my hair, and dash to the bathroom. As I run through the hall I can hear the laughter and welcome coming from the living room. John and Andy are home. I scrub my hands so hard I almost worry that more skin is coming off than paint.

Now I'm ready to see my brothers. Walking through the hall as if I could care less about their arrival, I coolly take a seat on the armrest of Dad's chair and wait to be noticed. Andy shouts and smiles as he sees me. "Jane! Look at you!" He rushes over and grabs me in a tight bear-hug. I can't breathe. John is next. "There's our little Plain Jane!" I used to hate when they called me that. It was just another reminder of how I'd never be more than just average, never be extraordinary like them. I still hate it.

"Hey guys," I say casually, like I see them all the time. The last time was Thanksgiving, which wasn't that long ago. John puts his arm around me and leads everyone to the family room where we all take a seat. It's too loud, I liked it better with just three people in the house. It was almost silent then.

"So how have your classes been?" Dad asks the boys.

"Oh, well I took this one class that's kind of out of my major, Math 238, which is all about the elements of differential equations but it was nothing. I ended with an A in the class." I mentally face-palm myself.

"Jane," John looks at me. "Don't be so quiet. How's school for you?"

"Alright."

"What's for your favorite class?"

"Science."

"I thought you hated science."

"I do, but it's 6th period, so I get to go home straight after."

Silence hangs like fog in the room. How dare I dislike school?

*

The dinner table is deafening with ten different voices echoing off the walls. I reach for a bread roll and take a bite, chewing as slowly as possible in order to avoid having to talk. Grandma and Grandpa came an hour after John and Andy arrived, followed by my aunt, uncle, cousin, and another uncle. It's too loud, and all I want to do is bury my face in my bed to hide all the shame among all the success sitting around my dining room table. Grandpa worked for NASA. Grandma got her Ph.D in medicine. Aunt Helen runs three family businesses with my Uncle Greg and their daughter attends one of the most prestigious schools in the country, like my brothers. And my Uncle Jerry is a college professor at the school my parents met at. And here I am, the family outcast, the one that, when I leave, they'll never mention to anyone else to prevent shedding disgrace on the family name.

"Dad," Andy captures everyone's attention. "I need to tell you. I took way more classes than I was required to this year, so I actually have enough credits to receive my BA now. What do you think?" Dad's smile grows even wider, and the spark in his eyes ignite the fire in mine.

"Stop it!" I scream. Ten heads turn my way. Andy's eyebrow raises in question. "I've had enough." I stand and my chair screeches, scratching the wooden floorboards. "All I ever do is try and try to match everyone else's success and no matter how hard I try, all I ever get is disappointment. Do you even realize how hard I try to satisfy you two?" My parents stares are pure shock, as if they were totally oblivious to how I felt. "And John and Andy, do you enjoy creating expectations that I'm supposed to meet when it's clearly not possible for me? I've had enough!" Tears are pouring down my face; my mascara leaves trails of pure black down my cheeks and off my chin. I trip on my Uncle's chair on my way to the doorway and stumble out, sobbing into my sleeve. I slam the door to my bedroom shut.

*

Someone softly raps on my door. "Jane?"

"I don't want to talk to anybody." I'm still gasping for breath, fighting back the salt water stinging my eyes.

The door squeaks quietly as John enters, followed by Andy. "I think the three of us need to talk."

"No we don't, please just leave me alone."

"Jane, if you don't want to talk then at least sit up and listen to what we have to say."

I exhale angrily, staying where I am. I can see they're not going to leave, so I pull myself up, cross my legs, and lean my head against the wall. "K."

"We didn't realize... what we were doing to you. I never realized how much I bragged about how well I do in school."

John chimes in. "Me neither. We never meant to make you feel like a disappointment."

"You don't need to, I know I am." More tears gush out but I quickly wipe them away.

"No Jane," Andy says, "You're not. John and I," he laughs a little, "we're nerds. We can tell you the square root of whatever in a split second but you know what we can't do? Anything but that. We get 'A's in everything academic like math, science, history, and english. But that's all we've ever been able to do. And look at you. You play guitar, paint, write outstanding poetry and music, and you've got an amazing voice. You create, all we do is parrot back everything the teacher's want to put into our heads. To tell you the truth, we've always been jealous of you."

Wait... what?

"Jane, you need to realize that even though our parents put a lot of pressure on the three of us over school, you are not a disappointment." John has water in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Jane..."

"Please stop..." My voice is soft, and I feel even worse for making my brother's hurt. John and Andy sit on either side of me and hug me. "I love you guys so much."

"We love you too little sis."

Little sis. Much better than Plain Jane. "Merry Christmas, you guys."

Proverbs 3:15

Luke 12:7

Did you know that Lea has shattered her big toe before?!

Whiter Than Snow~ Lea Sadler

Icy breaths of chilly demons lining up

taking turns assaulting with deceit.

Her glassy eyes see exactly that they throw

her own failures and pathetic conceit.

They show no mercy, they don't give up

surrounding, laughing, prodding

taunting her with past regrets, past mistakes

twisting her thoughts from worth to accusing.

Footprints imprinted in the frozen ground

to show her where she's heading

where she's been, where she's drowned

in disgusting, sinful lies of her own doing.

Icycles hang ready to strike

pure into her poor, oppressed heart

Glacial knives just waiting war-like

to rip her misled, worn-down life apart.

But soon a soft, light rain of ice will pass through

and she will find beauty in her midst

the beauty of love, and peace, and truth

and most of all a second chance

A second chance, a new start to be clean

another opportunity to be all she's dared to hope

to fight her demons, to toss them out of scene

to grasp a branch to be saved from the slippery slope.

A small light will break through the clouds

and the blaze of sun will blind her enemies

she will call on the one she has found

to be the only one to offer eternal peace.

She has only to hang on and be patient

for her old life is ready to go

her second chance is now on its way

and she will become whiter than snow.

Did you know that Lea is fasinated by cryptozoology?!

Did you know that Sarah changes the color of her nail weekly?!

Photograph property of Lilies Among Thorns Magazine. Photograph taken by Sarah Ford.

Fall Favorites~ Lea Sadler

What first comes to mind when you think about crunchy leaves, crisp air, fiery colors, and a feast of delicious food with your family? Fall! Personally, I love Fall; it's my favorite season. I asked around and got what everyone's favorite thing about Autumn is:

· The changing colors

· I love how all the trees turn red and orange. And after that, I love how all the leaves scatter on the ground and blow in the wind.

· Pumpkin pie

· I'm not a huge fan of pumpkin pie, but I know a lot of people do.

· Scarves

· Scarves are so cute, and fall is the perfect time to wear them to keep warm in the chilly air.

· Football

· Football season starts! Time to start following your favorite team and getting ready for the superbowl! Go Seahawks!!

· The switch from warm temperatures to cold

· The subtle temperature change is pleasant for anyone who appreciates a little cooler weather.

· The rain

· I love the fresh smell of the earth after the rain hits.

· The smell

· The person who submitted this fall favorite loves candles, and she loves lighting apple and cinnamon scented ones the most in this beautiful season.

· The foggy mornings

· Ever play hide and seek in the fog? 'nough said!

I guess there's always something to look forward to in each season, but for me, fall is the season that most makes me feel at home. So, what are you excited for this season?

Did you know that Lea still loves Disney movies, VeggieTales and Scooby-Doo?!

Tricep Workout with Lea

Ask any girl what the most difficult part of the body is to tone and strengthen and most will say... the triceps! Of course, if you work the triceps, you have to work the biceps. These two are partner muscles, and to avoid being muscularly imbalanced, you have to work one as much as the other. But why are the triceps so difficult to strengthen? Because we use the biceps more. The biceps are just stronger because more of our every day movements use more of them than they do the triceps. So, what can we do to work our triceps?

Push-ups: Although everyone knows what a push up is, I'm going to make sure you know how to do it correctly. Your arms should be extended under you, but your elbows should not be locked. Your hands should be placed directly under your shoulders. Make sure that your whole body is in a straight line, that your butt isn't sticking up or your hips aren't dropping. Lower your body to the ground SLOWLY. Slow and controlled movement puts in more work because it allows the resistance to kick in. People who try their hardest to do 10 push ups as fast as they can aren't getting all the benefits of the exercise. Do not go so far down that your elbows are way above your shoulder blades. When you reach your limit, extend your arms slowly until you are all the way back up. If you want to make push ups a little more difficult, then try staying in your down position for a few more seconds than normal before coming back up.

Triceps kick-backs (with weights): These are some of my favorite, because once you really get going, you can definitely feel your muscles burning! Stand with your feet hip-width apart and bend your knees enough so that you feel resistance (don't let your knees go past your toes). With your arms at your sides, angle them at 90 degrees and, without moving your upper arms, move your lower arms back. In this position, it should look as if you've just pushed off really hard while skiing. Then move them back to the first position.

Triceps lifts: Another one of my favorites :) With your arms above you, grip your weights and lower your arms behind your head, then raise them again. This move is very simple and easy, yet very effective!

These three moves will definitely give those upper arms a workout, just don't forget to work out those biceps too!

Did you know that Lea has to eat the middle of her foods BEFORE she eats the middle?!

Halloween Horrors~ Lea Sadler

"Trunk or treat!" Little children from my church smile up at me while I sit in the back of my mother's van. I smile to reveal the artificial, rotted teeth and distribute their treats as they all giggle and leave for the next car in the small parking lot. My attention is diverted to a tiny girl in striped stockings, a pointed hat, and a broomstick planted in her left hand. Something inside me breaks.

Halloween is a very popular time of the year, especially among young children and teenagers. What seems like an innocent night of harmless fun, might actually have some deeper meanings that people are unaware of.

The celebration of October 31st started many years ago when people believed this was the day that the dead returned to the earth. They also believed that dressing with fangs, or scales, or as powerful, intimidating, beings could make the spirits fear them in order to keep them away. First, the dead do not return to earth. God does not allow that. Luke 16:19-29 says, “There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores. The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been set in place, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.’ He answered, ‘Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my family, for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.’ Abraham replied, ‘They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.’ "

Have you ever participated in games such as "Bloody Mary," fiddled with Ouija boards, or seen a "psychic" who claims to have powers but doesn't know where from? These are all very dangerous. Though they may seem like innocent, childish fun, they begin to lead you away from God and stir up Satan's minions. You may not realize it, but when you participate in such things, Satan grabs onto a foothold. Messing with dark things are horrifyingly dangerous. Leviticus 19:26 and 31 say, "You shall not eat anything with the blood, nor practice divination or soothsaying...Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the Lord your God." Also Deuteronomy 18: 10-12 says, "There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, one who uses divination, one who practices witchcraft, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer, or one who casts a spell, or a medium, or a spirits, or one who calls up the dead. For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord; and because of these detestable things the Lord your God will drive them out before you."

Now that you know a little bit more about Halloween and what God says about some of it's traditions, choose wisely how you will be spending your time on October 31st. Will you be taking your little sister dressed up as a pony to houses giving out candy? Or will you be sitting in an abandoned house reading cards, studying astrology, and calling up the dead? For me, the decision is easy: Christmas movies with my best friend :)

Did you know that Lea fractured her skull, her tailbone, sprained her back, ankle, finger, shattered her big toe and almost broke a cheek bone?!

Fit to Serve~ Water and a Ab Workout!

Water. Many of us knows that it's good for us, but how many people really act on that knowledge?

Did you know:

~75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.

~In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger.

~Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3% which can make a HUGE difference if you're trying to keep a weight or lose it.

~One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters (studied in a University of Washington study).

~Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

~Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

~A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

~Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%., and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Are you drinking the amount of water you should drink every day?

Studies show that you should be drinking half your bodies weight in water in ounces everyday to be fully hydrated, and our full bodies weight in ounces when we are sick to heal faster. Most people will drink up to one glass of water or less a day, filling their thirst on such things as soda, coffee and tea, which dehydrates you even more than you were to begin with, not to mention soda and such also pulls needed vitamins out of your system. You’ve probably heard those narrators on the National Geographic specials say things like "Water gives life" or "Without water there could be no life." They’re overly dramatic sounding, but they’re right. Water makes up 70% of our bodies; so how do we become dehydrated? It doesn’t take much, It can happen to an athlete who’s competing, to someone who’s in bed with the flu, has diarrhea, in the very hot weather, or even to someone who just doesn’t drink enough (if any at all) water.

So what happens to us when we are even just a little or even horribly dehydrated?

~Your brain won’t work properly – you’ll be groggy, slow, and feel out of it, tired all the time.

~You’ll lose muscle tone

~Your kidneys won’t be able to function; toxins and wastes will back up in your body, making you feel generally crummy or get sick easier.

~You’ll have trouble regulating your body temperature; you make feel overheated, or you may feel chronically cold and unable to get warm.

~You’ll get constipated and bloated often (And not just on your time of the month)

~Fats stored in your body won’t get used up or metabolized (Won't be able to lose weight)

~You’ll think you’re hungry all the time, and so you’ll be likely to eat more. Also known as the munchies!

~Your skin will get dry, itchy, saggy, and acne can get worse or even appear.

A clear sign of dehydration is in the color of your urine. Did you know that urine is not supposed to be a dark yellow or even yellow? If you are properly hydrated, your urine should be clear or maybe with just a slight tint in it.

Drinking lemon water first thing in the morning before eating is especially good for cleansing the liver. Lemons are also a good source of citric acid, potassium, calcium, phosphorous and magnesium. It helps prevent the growth of pathogenic bacteria and the decomposition of tissue, It assists in “cleansing the system of impurities” and will help prevent disease. It is effective at dissolving uric acid (often the cause of pain and inflammation in joints) and other poisons in the body. Helps fix oxygen and calcium levels in the liver, which ultimately affects blood oxygen levels. It can help reduce symptoms of malaria, rheumatism, gout, rickets and tuberculosis (Which I hope none of you have!). One of the most important benefits of drinking lemon water regularly is its effect on the gastrointestinal tract. Lemon water assists in the process of digestion and elimination. The digestive qualities of lemon juice help to relieve symptoms of indigestion, such as heartburn, belching and bloating. Lemon assists in lowering high blood pressure, relieves symptoms of asthma, allergies and other respiratory problems, Nourishes brain and nerve cells due to its potassium content, Helps dissolves gallstones, calcium deposits, kidney stones, and pancreatic stones, and in pregnancy, it will help build strong bones in the child. Lemon water will also help to eliminate waste through the bowels more efficiently, thus preventing or alleviating constipation, diarrhea and other gastrointestinal disorders.

Amazing what just a little bit of lemon and a lot of water can do for the body, right?! It's no surprise God gave us many clear signs that is all He wanted us to drink. Adam and Eve weren't handed sodas at the end of the day, nor were they handed fresh squeezed orange juice. Water is mentioned in the Bible hundreds of times. That's what they relied on. That was their source of life. It's no wonder why today that we have so much sickness and pain in the world. No one's drinking enough of the thing that over half their bodies are made of!

Try it!

Use a freshly cut lemon and squeeze a little benifits you just read!

I can't stress enough the importance of drinking water, it's not that hard grab a glass and go!

Quick! Your body's counting on you...

More on the importance of water:

http://www.waterbenefitshealth.com/health_benefits_of_drinking_water.html

More on lemon water:

http://www.waterbenefitshealth.com/benefits-of-drinking-lemon-water.html

All about water:

http://www.waterbenefitshealth.com/index.html

Did you know that Haley ONLY drinks water?! I guess that's not a shocker to you now!


Now unto the abs with Lea...

Fat, flab, pudge, love-handles, muffin-tops... whatever you call it, we can all agree on one thing: We don't like it. It seems like the abdominal area is where most girls struggle with being comfortable. We look in the mirror and see a little bit of a roll there and automatically compare ourselves to the actors on TV or the models in the magazines and suddenly decide to change outfits to try and disguise our stomachs a little bit. Well first I want to say, you are BEAUTIFUL!! But I also want to say, it's ok when there's something about you that you want to change as long as you want to change it for the right reason; like being healthier. Truth is, there is no secret machine or food that will liquidate the pudge-lining. The simple fact is, you just need to eat right, drink plenty of water, and exercise. You might say, "But I do like a billion crunches every day and still have some flab hanging around!" Know what? You probably have a six-pack actually hiding under the love-handles. But you can't just do crunches for nice abs, you need to burn the fat with cardio, strengthen the muscles with strength exercises, and like I said before, eat right (read Haley Oscar's article for eating right).

Whatever kind of cardio you do, as long as it's got your heart pumpin, you are burning fat. But wait! I've had some people say, "I do some cardio on Monday, some strength on Tuesday, and focus on my abs on Wednesday and nothing's changing." That's because exercise requires variety, endurance, and change.

You need to include all the different areas of exercise each time you work out!! Just focusing on one type each day doesn't work. That just gets ur heart racing and ready to go and then saying, "Hey! Why are we stopping?"

The longer and harder you work-out (without working out too long or too hard for your body to handle) the more fit you'll become. I have a friend who works out two hours each day, and another friend who goes for a half hour each day. They both look good, but my friend who works out longer is more toned, conditioned, and firm. It's like running and then reaching a hill. You're working on your cardio, and then strength to get up the hill. You can't just say, "Ok, this hill is in the way so I'm done." You need to keep going.

You cannot do the exact same workout everyday. Your body gets bored of it, too used to it, and that actually sets you up for injury because the exact same body parts are being overworked.

What I Reccommend:

Along with your cardio exercises, you could try some of my personal favorite ab exercises:

Bicycle Crunches: Lay on your back, put your hands behind your ears, lift your legs and "pedal" slowly as you also use your muscles to lift the top of your back off the ground. DO NOT pull on your neck. Your hands should not be jerking your neck up, they are there for support, not to do the work for you.

Trunk Rotations with Boxing: With your legs far apart, bend your legs and punch from side to side. Keep your hips in place, don't let them turn with you.

These two are my favorites but for more exercises, I suggest http://shape.com or http://fitnessmagazine.com.

Did you know that Lea secretly dreams of wowing the judges on The Voice?!?!

Girl Power! The Powerful Women God Created You to Be~ Lea Sadler

"The man is the head of the house." "It is the man's duty to protect his wife and family." "Wives should obey their husbands." Girls hear these statements all the time. And guess what? They're true. Now, let me explain. "The man is the head of the house." God appointed the male to be the spiritual leader of his family. Like a priest who is the head of the church and makes all the decisions with the help and input of his staff, the husband is called to lead his family with his wife as his partner. "It is the man's duty to protect his wife and family." God assigned both sexes a job. To the women, He assigned domestic care which includes the house and the children. To the men, He assigned them to be the bread-winners and battlers of anything that threatens their families. That's just the way it is because that's the way God us, man and woman. Different from each other. Different physically, different emotionally, different mentally, and different occupationally. "Wives should obey their husbands." Now, this does NOT mean, "bow down to the mighty man." This just means that if your husband asks something like, "Honey, could we have dinner a little later tonight? I have some work I need to finish up and I don't want to miss out?" then you should have dinner a little later. "Obey" also goes with honoring your husband, just as he should honor and "obey" you.

But, in the Bible, the powerful people aren't just the men. Remember, Esther, and Mary? How about Jael or Deborah?

Imagine this: The king needs a new queen, so he orders all the available young women to go through a year of beauty treatment before he found his new bride. Imagine, being taken from your family to live in a place that you'd rather stay away from. Now, imagine that you are chosen as the new queen. That is exactly what happened to Esther. But not only was she chosen to help rule over Persia, but she saved an entire race. Hamen, the king's right-hand man, hate the Jews. But mostly, he hated Mordechai, not knowing that Mordechai was Esther's uncle. Hamen convinced the king to set a date for all the Jews to be killed by telling him that they were dangerous to the kingdom. God called Esther to appear before the king (without him calling for her, which usually resulted in death) and tell the king that Mordechai was her relative, and that Hamen had ordered for HER to be killed! Can you imagine how terrifying it would be to have to tell the most powerful man in the kingdom that his best friend was plotting to kill innocent people including you, the NEW bride? Multiple times, Esther mustered up the courage to tell the king, then multiple times she chickened out. One night, when she had the king over for dinner in her room, she finally told him. And what happened? Hamen was sentenced to death, the king made another law to help protect the jews, and Esther died after a long, happy life as a hero and a queen. If you want to know more, you can read the book of Esther in the bible right between Nehemiah and Job.

Here's one that not a lot of people know about. Deborah, was a FEMALE prophet. A prophetess. In Judges 4, you can read about this amazing woman. Once again, the Israelites were doing evil in the eyes of the Lord. So he sold them to Jabin, the king of Canaan, who was cruel to them for twenty years. During this time, Deborah was the LEADER of Israel! God spoke through her, and she led the man who led the Israelites out of captivity.

Our third heroine, Jael, goes along with Deborah's story. God told Deborah that Sisera, Jabin's commander of his army, would flee and try to find some place to rest. So he came to Jael's tent and asked for some water and a place to stay for the night. She fed him, and gave him a bed. During the night while Sisera was sleeping, Jael took a tent-stake, and hammered it through his skull. Gory, right? But she became a hero. (Again, Judges 4.)

Mary. We all know who Mary is. But have you ever put yourself in her place? Think about what it takes to be only around thirteen years old and give birth to the son of God? The baby who would save all mankind? Not to mention her being accused of sleeping with another man besides Joseph and the fact that she could've been killed because of it. God chose Mary as the mother of Jesus because she was virtuous, and God found favor in her. Mary's story just goes to show that if we follow God and his laws, He will use us for incredible things.

Men and women are equal. God doesn't love men more than women, and he doesn't love women more than men. We were created for each other, we need each other. God created us to want each other, and He created us with different jobs to do (which we've already covered) when we're with each other. So here are some verses that would be handy to memorize:

1 Corinthians 11:11-12: In the Lord, however, woman is not independent of man, nor is mand independent of woman. For as woman came from man, so also man is born of woman. But everything comes from God.

Proverbs 31:10-31: A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is worthy to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

1Timothy 2:9-10: I also want women t o dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

Did you know that Lea has to eat the edge of all her foods BEFORE the middle?!

Did you know that Jess's favorite season is summer?!

All photographs property of 'Lilies Among Thorns Magazine". Photograph taken by Jess Mc.

Spiritual Depression~ Lea Sadler

Abandonment, rejection, failure, hopelessness, loneliness... do any of these words hit home? For me, all of them (and more) are all too real. Some of them stare me right in the face, threatening to break through the barriers once again and send me into deathly turmoil. Some of them actually do every once in a while.

I could give you my whole life story, my long testimony about how I came to Jesus and how He snatched me from the pits of Hell and surrounded me with love and comfort. But that would most likely bore you to death with the facts of how I was before, so I'll just share the highlights. I'm going to get real with you, because you deserve it. Ready for it? Here it is: I still doubt God's love for me.

That's it. Luckily, I have enough faith to hold me by a thread from completely falling away from Him. I go through stages where God seems so genuine, so loving, like He's sitting right next to me with his protecting arm around me and whispering His promises for my life. But at times, He is just a character in a book that people keep shoving down my throat. Satan really knows my weak spots, and he does NOT give up without a hard fight.

As a Christian, I know that God is holding me, telling me everything is going to be all right, telling me that every horrible thing I've been through is part of His awesome plan for my life. As a teenager, I think I know better. As a kid, I feel like "If God really loved me then... blah blah blah." But as a human, I'm just confused. And those last three, are where Satan chooses to ambush. Those, are his pathways to leading you away from your Father.

I struggled with depression after my life started it's turning point from "happy family, what could go wrong?" to "broken family with a moody teenager, when does life end?" I became suicidal, I wanted to die. I remember telling God one time, "If You love me then let me come home!" I was tired of life, life was tired of me. That was years ago, and I'm still in the healing and recovery process. There are a few crucial points that I've realized and learned over those years:

When it seems like God's saying, "No," He's actually saying, "I can do better." When I prayed to God to take my life, He said, "I can do better," and He brought my counselor to me. He made me enjoy life again. My best friend prayed that the guy she liked was the one. God said, "I can do better," and now she's dating a wonderful Christian guy who treats her like a Princess. As stubborn humans, we always think we know everything. We think we know what's best for us, what will really make us happy, and what's fair. Newsflash: WE DON'T. Truth is, if God gave us everything we asked for this world would be total disaster (well... even more than it is now.) Think about it this way: When you were little you wanted to see what was on top of the stove. But you were too short so you couldn't unless you could reach up and grab whatever was up there. But your parents told you not to. Why? Because they knew something you didn't. They knew that if they let you reach up for what you wanted, you'd only get burnt in the end. God knows what we don't. He Sees what we can’t. He knows that if He gives us everything we ask for, we'll only be hurt by some of it. Read Ephesians 3:20-21.

Everything that happens fits into God's amazing plan. A bible verse that really got me through the worst stage of depression was Jeremiah 29:11 which says, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.' " God takes every "bad" thing in your life and uses it for good. Proof? Wanting my life to end (bad) --> experienced enough to help others who feel the same way (good). I've had friends who were so worn down, like me, that they could barely force themselves out of bed every morning to take on the day. But God used my experience and made me an excellent listener and now they come to me whenever they need to vent or need some verses from the bible to pull them through. Everything is used later.

"This too shall pass." No matter what you're going through, it doesn't last forever. Did a family member die recently? Your mourning will turn to content and even happiness as you slowly come to realize that they are in Heaven. Did your boyfriend break up with you? Those feelings will move on as life does, and you'll meet whoever God has in store for you. Does life just generally suck and you don't know why? It gets better. That's just something you have to trust God with. That's something that pulled me through too, the faith that life gets better. Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 which expresses that there is a time for everything.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Even though my life was horrible a few years ago, I wouldn't give my experiences back for anything. They made me who I am. They're the reason why it's so easy for my friends to talk to me when they're hurting: I understand them. They showed me and proved to me God's existence. And best of all, they allowed me to feel His presence. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

So what's the bottom line? Through everything that you may experience, I can promise you that if you look to God, pray for strength, and trust that you will make it through with His help, you will. And not only will you just make it through, but you'll come out with some valuable lessons, stronger relationships, and you will be one step closer to truly understanding God's love for you.

Did you know that, every morning, Lea listens to 'Life is a Highway' by Rascal Flatts?!

Photograph property of Lilies Among Thorns Magazine. Photograph taken by Alyssa Dannettel.

Alive~ Lea Sadler

Soft whispers in my head of elegant content

Grow vines of wisdom from heaven sent

As ancient lyrics of old songs sung

Chime the bells on one once rung.

Sweet scents of sorrow fill the lungs while

Bitter words of loss weigh down the tongue.

Your hands of comfort grip all pain

And destroy all regrets, finally slain.

Walking through the darkness, stumbling on every stone

You lift the feet and assuage the soul with a soothing tone.

Cursed with affliction and trapped in agony

Your presence is the only thing that brings forth the key

To a happy life filled to find

This sincere peace of mind.

Free of sin, free of death

Life inhaled with every breath.

I’m alive.


Did you know that Lea is 25% Korean?!

Prom Night for Me~ by Lea Sadler

"Here we are!" Christian led his little car into the driveway where about four other cars were parked and girls dressed like princesses frolicked about with their prince's in hand. As I looked out the window I spotted my best friend and Christian's girlfriend, Chelsea, waving excitedly from the shady strip of the driveway. This was the day she had been counting down for, prom night. We were still juniors, but we had senior dates, mine being just a friend that I had met in guitar class last year. "Let's go take some pictures." Jake, my date, handed me my shawl that he had been holding for me and stepped out to help me. For being just friends, he was acting overly friendly.

"Lea!" Natalie raced over to me along with Chelsea. "I didn't know you were going to be here!"

I didn't know she was going to be there either. In fact, half the people there I had no clue was coming with us. How were we going to fit all twelve of us in the limo? Christian came up behind us and grabbed Chelsea around the waist, an innocent gesture of youthful love I desperately missed, not being emotionally "over" my last boyfriend yet. Natalie pulled me aside, away from the others. "So are you two getting a hotel room after prom too?"

Shocked by what I heard, I stared at her, unsure of how to answer. "What?"

Natalie rolled her eyes and placed both hands on her hips. "Alex and I are, even though I'm not sure I like him like that. But I guess I'll find out tonight, won't I?" She offered me a wink but again, I wasn't sure how to respond.

"Jake and I are just friends," I answered. "Besides that, I'm saving sex for marriage."

"Does he know that?"

"He should," I sighed. What had I gotten myself into? "If not he's going to find out if he tries anything."

Natalie rolled her eyes again in that annoying way she has perfected. "Oh, Lea, c'mon, it's prom! You're allowed to let loose every now and then, you know."

"Not that loose," I muttered under my breath, annoyed that someone would even try to pressure me into sleeping with my friend.

Looking back on that night now, I can't believe what I didn't see coming. I never thought I would be stuck in a situation where I was honestly and totally helpless. I never thought I'd be hanging out with the type of kids I've been warned about my entire life and have no control over where I would go. I've done a little biblical research to calm the tears that put me to sleep once I got home that night. Here's what the bible says about situations like this:

Romans 12:2 "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will."

The limo driver opened the door and helped Jessica out first since she was by the door (and sitting on her boyfriend's lap). I took the limo driver's hand as he helped me out and clumsily stood. Jake continued holding my shawl for me as we all entered Sakura's and checked our things in for them to hold. We all took our seats at the sixteen-chair table and ordered as the chef began cooking right in front of us. "Excuse me," Jake mumbled and left for the bathroom with Alex and AJ.

"What're they doing?" I asked Chelsea and Christian.

Christian folded his napkin and set it by his plate as he stood and pushed in his chair. "I don't know, but I'll go find out."

Chelsea looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. "Lea, Chelsea," Sarah whispered in our direction and gestured for us to come to her side of the table. "Ok, Lea," she said in a low voice, "Are you ok with Jake making moves on you?"

"Making moves on me?"

"Yeah, are you ok with that?"

"Um." Of course not! "Like dancing with me and stuff?"

"Like kissing you."

I froze. "No, not happening."

"Ok, then I'll tell AJ to tell Jake to lay off."

Chelsea and I left for the bathroom.

"I told you he likes you," Chelsea laughed and touched up her lipstick while I nervously rearranged my purse.

"I knew he did, it's not like it wasn't obvious. I just thought he'd accepted the fact that nothing was ever going to happen between us."

"Apparently not," Chelsea turned to look at me. "If you're uncomfortable we could always leave. I sort of am."

I shook my head. "Jake's still my friend and I still want him to have a good time. AJ's telling him to not 'make any moves on me' so hopefully he'll listen. Do you want to leave?"

"Not just yet, but I have a feeling we're really in for it tonight."

"What do you mean?"

Natalie chose that moment to stroll into the bathroom. "There you two are! What're you doing?"

"Just talking." Chelsea zipped up her purse and made her way to the door, stopping to wait for me.

Natalie grabbed my arm. "Just FYI, Alex is giving Jake 'advice,' if you know what I mean."

What was happening? What happened to the sheltered world I had once lived in with no fear of every being caught in uncomfortable or tough situations like this? Why was one of my "friends" receiving tips on how to sleep with me? Prom wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought I was going out with his friends for dinner and dancing and then going home while looking pretty and riding in a limo... what happened to that? Anger burned inside me. "Well tell him to knock it off. Nothing's going to happen." I spoke through gritted teeth.

Again, Natalie rolled her eyes. "I know, Jake's telling him to cut it out but Alex is stubborn. He thinks the only way Jake will have a good time is if he gets with you."

"Jake's ignoring him?"

"Yeah, you guys coming back out?"

I breathed a sigh of relief. Jake liked me, but he wasn't going to pressure me into having sex with him. I knew I could trust him to do the right thing. "In a sec."

Natalie exited the bathroom. Chelsea turned bright red and glanced at me. "At least Jake isn't giving in."

I nodded and took a look at my reflection. I felt proud. I looked pretty, but innocent. All the other girls were wearing cleavage-revealing, butt-cheek short, skin-tight dresses that covered as little as they could get away with. My dress was floor length, beautiful, and showed nothing except for a little back that was always covered by my shawl when I wasn't sitting. I was overwhelmed with pride, but also encouragement. I felt God smiling down on me. And anything I was about to be put through and have to resist that night was totally worth that smile. Chelsea put two comforting hands on my shoulders and gave them an encouraging squeeze.

1 Corinthians 10:13 "No Temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Actual prom was no better. In fact, it was worse. After checking our bags and coats in again, Jake, Christian, Chelsea, and I got in line for pictures where we all danced and actually had a good time while we were waiting. But after we had taken the pictures, Chelsea and Christian left to dance while Jake led me through the room to introduce me to some of his other friends. And after what I had experienced so far, I wasn't in the mood for meeting anyone else like the people I had just been with. Luckily, the only thing that happened was one of them pulling me into a hug. So Jake and I left to find Chels and Christian again. When an upbeat song came on, Alex pulled me aside. "What's the story with you two?'

"Me and Jake?"

"Yeah, what's going on with you guys?"

I could barely hear him, I had to strain my ears to understand what he was asking. "We're just friends."

"So why aren't you dancing?"

"I am dancing."

"No, dancing like," he demonstrated a grinding motion in the air.

Again, how could this be happening to me? "You call that dancing?"

He dismissed me with a wave. "Whatever."

He called me something as he turned away, but I didn't catch what it was over the loud music. Fighting my way through the crowd, I found Jake and asked if we could get some water. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Liar.

James 4:4-8 "You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

Romans 12:9-21 "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good... Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need... Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse... Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position... Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

"You guys want to go to the waterfront?" AJ suggested as everyone piled back into the limo, trying to arrange ourselves to fit comfortably.

"Yeah!" There wasn't a single objection. I breathed easily for once. Under the stars with my friends listening to the waves, what could go wrong? The driver took us to the waterfront and occupied plenty of parking spaces, but no one else was there.

Alex tugged on Natalie's dress. "Hey," he whispered, "let's go skinny dipping."

I felt sick.

The other eleven broke out the cigars and alcohol as they undressed. "Can we go for a walk?" I asked Christian, Chelsea, and Jake. They looked as stunned as I was and unsure of what to do.

"That's a good idea." Christian said as he began to guide Chelsea in the opposite direction of the skinny dippers. Jake led me away.

I don't think I need to explain how I felt or what it was like driving back to the house with everyone soaking wet and sitting on each other's laps making out again. I also don't think it's necessary for me to explain how difficult it was to tell my parents what had happened when I finally got home at 1:00 am even though I resisted everything. Nothing surprised them. They weren't shocked with how the other kids acted, and they weren't shocked by how Christian, Chels, Jake and I had handled it.

I quoted my favorite bible verse Jeremiah 29:11 over and over to myself that night while the tears sped down my face as I tried to fall asleep. " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' " God made me experience what I did for a reason, even though the purpose is not clear, it is clear that something good is going to come out of it. Maybe the four of us who didn't do anything wrong "planted a seed" for the others. Maybe God would reward us for not giving in. Maybe we had passed a test. When I finally woke up, a sense of comfort and peace had overcome me and I no longer felt like crying. Instead, I felt strong. And like "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).

Additional Readings:

Psalm 133

Ephesians 4:1-16

Photograph Property of Lilies Among Thorns Magazine. Photograph taken by Tara Willinger.