10 Lies Hollywood Tells Us~ Nataleigh Robinson

If you live on this earth (which you probably do) then you have probably experienced your fair share of expectations.  Your parents expect you to clean your room, your friends expect you to be there when they need you, your pastor expects you to pay attention in youth group and God expects you to share the good news of His son. 

All these things are rather reasonable expectations but often we can feel like we’re getting mixed messages.  We get one message from our friends at church and a completely different message from our friends at school.  Our parents tell us one thing while our teachers tell us something different.  Our pastors present one way of gaining success while society presents an entirely different way to gain success. 

The Devil uses a variety of lies to confuse us into living our lives in a way that is less than holy.  But we can’t expect to realize these things as lies if no ones ever pointed them out to us.  Not to worry that’s what this article is here for.  Here are ten lies that Hollywood tells us

1. You have to be a size one to be considered attractive.  A hundred years ago people held a very different opinion of beauty.  It was considered much more attractive to have a little fluff.  But in 1959 something happened that forever changed the way beauty was viewed.  This life changing event took place in the form of a still very popular toy named Barbie.  Barbie was stick thin with the perfect hourglass shape and drop dead gorgeous.  Every girl wanted to look just like her.  And so the search for beauty began. We’ve all experienced insecurity at one time or another, it’s part of being a girl, its part of living in a sinful world.  Since sin entered the world women have struggled with wanting to be attractive.  There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to look good, after all God tells us to take care of our bodies since they are the temples of God (1 Cor 6:19-20).  I think this includes watching out weight but it doesn’t mean obsessing over it.  God made each of us with different builds and not all of us will be able to healthily fit into a size one.  What’s important is that we except the body God has given us.

2. Being a virgin is something to be ashamed of.  Turn on the TV for any extended amount of time and you will quickly realize that our society is obsessed with sex.  Adult shows and movies are full of sex scenes and explicit sexual jokes.  Kids movies are less obviously filled with sexual undertones and innuendos.  Even some commercials have an underlying sexual message.  Living in a world filled with never-ending sexual messages and friends who are constantly hooking-up, it can be difficult not to feel like you’re the only virgin left on the planet.  

I can assure you that you are most definitely not.  There are hundreds of students who are still virgins.  In 2009 34% of high school students admitted to being sexually active and even if there were another 10% who had had sex but hadn’t admitted it that still roughly 56% of high school students who are still virgins. That’s over half of your school.  Just remember that the next time you’re thinking of giving in just because your ashamed of your virginity.  You’re not alone and God values your purity more than anything else.

3. Marriage doesn't last forever.  God created marriage.  God realized how lonely Adam was and decided that he needed not just a friend but a partner, someone who was so close to Adam that it was like they were one person.  As if to illustrate just how close he wanted Adam to be to his wife, He decided to create her out of one of Adam’s ribs showing that she was an important part of him that could never be replaced by anyone else.  No friend could ever be closer to him than her.

Today divorce is as normal as changing your socks.  People get married, start fighting, decide it’s not working and give up rather than sacrifice a bit of themselves to rekindle their love for each other they would rather tear away from that part of themselves and move on to someone else.  100 years ago people would have never thought of divorcing someone so easily they worked at it until death parted them no matter how difficult it was.  Marriage doesn’t have to end in divorce, it is possible to have a life long commitment if you’re both willing to work at it.

4. It is weird when parents show affection for each other. Television loves to make fun of parents who have a happy and healthy relationship.  Whenever parents start to get a little cozy, the kids always have to walk in and tell them how gross they are, forgetting that they were just sitting in the backseat of a car doing the exact same thing and worse but without the wedding certificate.  For some reason seeing a married couple who’s over the age of 40 show any affection for each other is inappropriate and disgusting, but it shouldn’t be.

We should be willing to encourage our parents to show their love for each other because that’s how we know they still do.  Far too many marriages end in divorce because someone thought they were getting too old for affection and the other moved on.

5. It is ok to lie as long as no one finds out. If you think this isn’t a lie then you’re lying to yourself because according to the Bible it’s not ok to lie.  In fact lying is one of the “thou shalt not’s” in the 10 Commandments.  So many times in the shows we watch we see our favorite characters lying to teachers, parents and even friends in order to save their own necks.  The plot line often follows like this: an especially naughty character that’s known to be a troublemaker convinces the main character to lie because “I never get caught” and “it’s so easy”.  The main character gives in and the lie works and they realize wow that wasn’t so bad after all and so they continue to lie and lie and lie until finally they’re caught and then suddenly they’re sorry and now that they’re in trouble they realize it was a mistake.  But we’re often left wondering whether they really learned their lesson or if they’re just sorry that they didn’t get away with it

6. A high school pregnancy will not turn your life upside down.  In the last 10 years there has been a strange influx of movies and shows about teen pregnancy each with its own way of showing that pregnancy is kind of cool, even in high school.  With Juno in 2007, Secret Life of the American Teenager premiering in 2008 and Pregnancy Pact in 2010, teenagers are more aware than ever that teenage pregnancies can and do happen.  While each of these movies and shows are pro-life encouraging students to keep the child despite their age and their mistakes none of these shows reveal the realistic side of what happens when you have a child while still a child yourself.  Whether a girl decides to raise the child herself or give it up for adoption there is no denying that her life will be forever changed and she will never be able to go back to her old life or her old friends despite what Hollywood tries to tell you.

7. It is unacceptable to not 100% accept someone else's beliefs.  Society is constantly trying to confuse us into thinking that when we disagree with someone about something we are in essence telling them that we don’t love them.  So many people will even go so far as using scripture against us, they’ll remind us that we’re supposed to love everyone because God is love.  While this is true and as Christians we have more reason than anyone else to show unrelenting love to those who are different from us, but the problem comes in when we allow people to scare us into submission.  God tells us to preach the gospel boldly, he told us we would experience hardships and persecution because of our faith.  He didn’t tell us that our Christian walk would be simple but he promised he would be waiting for us at the end of the road and he promised that his son would be interceding for us and that his Holy Spirit would be walking beside us all the time.  Everything we do and say should be said out of love and selflessness but if we truly believe that we have the answer than we should not be afraid to share our opinions and we have just as much political right to share as they do, despite how they try to convince you otherwise.

8. Love is an emotion that can't be controlled.  As girls it can be hard not to get caught up in the romance of a good story.  Many of us are romantic saps all the way to the bone and even those who pretend not to be really do want someone to love them deep down inside.  No one knows better than Hollywood how desperate each girl is to find her Prince Charming who will be different from anyone she’s ever met and will be absolutely perfect.  From a young age girls are indoctrinated with stories of princes who ride in and save the princess from some terrible danger and ride away with her to live “happily ever after”.  By the time we’re in high school we have such twisted ideas of love that it’s no wonder that many of us end up with our hearts broken and our confidence shattered.  Hollywood tells us that we can’t choose who we fall in love with it just happens but if that were true then God’s command to love everyone would be very difficult to follow.  If we can choose to love our grouchy neighbor who complains whenever we step on his grass then we can certainly choose not to give our hearts away to someone that isn’t following God

9. If you’re single there must be something wrong with you.  In a society that relies so heavily on relationships it is no wonder that not having someone to call your boyfriend can make us feel like there might be something wrong with us.  When we see our friends with their special someone it can be difficult not to feel alone.  But there is so much more to life then dating relationships and there is so much more to relationships then the butterflies.  God made us for relationships but that isn’t limited to dating relationships.  God wants us to build our relationship with Him, our family and our friends before we even begin to think of having a dating relationship

10. Sex will not affect you emotionally.  Hebrews 13:4 tells us “to keep the marriage bed pure” this means to not give away that which was meant to be saved only for our husbands.  Society tries to convince us that sex will not really affect us, that we can just do it and not really think of it after that.  The truth is that sex outside of marriage can be very emotionally painful.  Don’t fall for the lie that if you give in he’ll stay with you.  The truth of the matter is that guys like to have something to pursue once you give them what they want they’ll have nothing left to fight for and since you’re married they’ll have nothing keeping them with you and so they’ll leave.  Don’t fall for the same lies that so many girls before you have fallen for.  Keep the mystery, good Christian men would much rather prefer the mystery anyway.

Did you know that Nataleigh wants to open her own home for teenagers?!?!

Gift Gone? Told by Marrisa Brandies Through Haley Oscar

 

 

The story of how I lost my virginity is less than romantic. It was not exactly the experience that is often portrayed in the movies, with candlelight and romance and pillow talk. I was sixteen, and very disenchanted by the world as to what TRUE love was. Before I actually performed the act with my boyfriend, I had it set in my mind that I was capable of “handling it” and it “had to happen sometime”. I spent a lot of time justifying why it was “the next step” and the “only way to show my love”. In my own mind I was convinced that I was ready for it. It also didn’t help that the world was telling me “how mature I was for my age”. Of course I was more mature than most girls my age, I was dealing with adult situations with the mindset of a child- YES, a child.

 

My boyfriend was a few years older than me, and we had been dating for over six months already. I was convinced beyond reason that I would marry him, and we would live happily ever after. I told myself that it would be alright, since he was my first, he would be my last because that’s how it was supposed to be. I was delusional. Logic didn’t matter, and the enemy can be very convincing, especially to someone as young and naïve as I was at the time.

 

After it was over, I felt very empty and disappointed. “That’s it? I don’t see what the big fuss is. It was painful, not pleasurable. Maybe I need more practice, I must not be doing it right.” Once the initial disappointment was out of the way, I felt like I didn’t have anything to lose anymore. My boyfriend and I continued to have sex regularly until we broke up, six months later from a “lack of connection”. He dumped me.

 

From then on, it wasn’t a big deal to have sex with the whichever guy I was seeing at the time. I made sure that we took care to use protection, and I didn’t have “random”sex, as it is defined today, but I was still being rather careless in choosing my partner. I had a very inadequate point-of-view that sex was a vital part of dating, and that was how I could please my boyfriend at the time. I reasoned with myself that sex wasn’t enjoyable, through my own faults. I didn’t want to get hurt again, so I blocked out any emotion that I felt about sex, except the want to satisfy the men I dated so they wouldn’t leave. I figured that if I didn’t show the emotion, or deal with it, it wouldn’t exist anymore. I didn’t cope with the disappointment, the longing for approval, or the sadness that came with having a sex life. I just kept doing it, expecting the same results every time. It was very hollow, and made me feel very unloved.

 

Then I met my husband.

 

I felt like I got struck by lightning. It was sort of like a sixth sense, knowing that he was very special and would be a big part of my life. We started dating, and after a while, had sex. But it was my boyfriend (now husband, Nick) who stopped this facet of our relationship from becoming like every other tryst. He expressed to me his desire to have us be“more than sex”. This concept was so foreign to me, but it was exactly the discipline that I needed. We started practicing abstinence, and were soon talking about marriage. It wasn’t easy, and we were not always successful in keeping our hearts pure, but through the times we were feeling weak, we prayed together. I was all but living with him already, and abstaining while sleeping in the same apartment was a very difficult thing. We knew it was something that we had to do though, to prepare ourselves for marriage. It was through times of prayer and supplication (fasting or abstaining) like these, that my relationships with him and the Lord truly started to flourish.

 

It was an incredible experience, to make love to my husband once we were married. It opened up such an array of emotions and connections to God and each other that we had never felt before. It was such a deep connection, so beautiful that it is indescribable. It had such intensity, and is always getting better the more that my husband and I continue to grow together and involve the Lord in our marriage.

 

 Looking back on my experiences of life, I feel incredible regret. I had to learn the hard way. I did something that could never be taken back, and it hurts to know that I robbed my husband of the one amazing, divine gift that I could have saved just for my him. Remembering the struggles, and the emotional rollercoaster that I put myself on, I really wish I had been a stronger woman, and come to Jesus earlier. If only I had developed a prayer life; I could have avoided searching for love that I didn’t find. I wasted so much time and effort on men who didn’t love me, not knowing that Jesus could have fulfilled what I had been missing. I was imprudent, and not ready for the cost of a sexual connection. I could have saved myself a lot of disappointment and hurt.

 

In retrospect I understand that many lies that were told to me, and see how they are being told today. I recognize the underlying messages that “sex sells”,“sex is the rite of passage to adulthood”, or “sex is the way to express love”.I see how we are targeted as women and a focus on the romanticism and glorification of sex before marriage. Its very saddening to hear these lies from the point-of-view of a Christian who has faltered. Christ died a very brutal death so that we can live, and be free of sin. Yet, everyday young people are suckered into a life of sin, because society says its okay. However, I know that God does not see it in that perspective. Our heavenly Father’s heart has not changed, even if our society says it has. Nowhere in the bible is it written to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince; this is a justification made up by people to justify our own bad behavior. Do not be drawn into this lie. He has given you this precious gift, to be given to your husband exclusively. God CREATED you to be chaste, and keep your heart pure, in honor of the husband you don’t have yet. He created you to be prudent in your decisions, and loyal to the husband that He has picked out for you. This is His command to us. It is our obligation to remain faithful to our future husbands. It is our duty to remain pure in waiting for our perfect union between man, wife and God, as He intended.

 

My advice for you is to honor God! I strongly urge you to make better choices than I made. It will help you to avoid regret and sin. Avoid being in a situation where you could possibly make a mistake. Go out on dates in public. Hang out with family and other friends. Do not leave opportunity for error. In doing so, you are giving yourself the chance to get to know each other freely, without adding the extra pressure of a sexual relationship. If he does care about you, and has a relationship with God, your boyfriend will respect your wish to leave that part out of the relationship until you are married.

 

Develop a prayer life by yourself, and with your boyfriend. Encourage him to pray with you and for you, especially if its getting too hot and heavy. Don’t be afraid to stop in the heat of the moment and pray. God can speak volumes through prayer, and may deter you from making a tremendous mistake. I guarantee that if your boyfriend loves and wants a future with you, he will pray with you and for you. Also, prayer is a really good way of separating the good guys from the total creeps. Think of how your boyfriend will respond if you ask him to pray just before you think about having sex. You may possibly find out in that instant, more about his character than any moment during sex could reveal. I am not saying it will be easy, because it will take strength to stop yourself, but it is to your benefit. Prayer doesn’t only draw you nearer to the Lord, but it also builds character and strength, especially in critical moments. The more you draw closer to God, the less likely you will make a mistake of great consequence. It will also enrich the relationship you have with your significant other, and lay the foundation for a marriage, if that is what you are planning. The most rewarding, and intimate thing that my husband and I practice every day is not sex, but praying together. A relationship with God is what makes our marriage so wonderful, and that kind of connection is worth waiting for.

 

~Marissa Brandies

 

Marissa couldn't have put it any better! I almost can't think of an ending for this, but I will again stress the need for prayer in ANY relationship. Start the habit now so it's natural once your in a relationship with a man. Maybe even buy a devotional book to prepare for dating or to use in your current relationship.Marissa and I hope this spoke to those of you who were thinking about giving in and to those who already have. Marissa and I want you to know that our prayers go out to you! And like always, if you have any questions you can contact me through email at Haleyjadey@yahoo.com.

 

Did you know that Haley hates being alone?!