Single Ladies: What Do You Do? ~ Haylie Gregory

Single, the last word every girl wants to hear on Valentine’s Day. Instead of sulking about it, why don’t you check out this list I made on some pluses on being single.

©         You don’t have to try to impress anyone! You can have greasy hair and sweat pants on if you feel like it!

©         You can eat those nasty smelling chips and not have to worry about offending anyone.

©         You can play any videogame you want and not have to let him win.

©         You can watch whatever movie you want instead of having to decide on something you both want to watch.

©         You can take your girlfriends out for lunch and talk about movie actors! It would be weird to do that with a guy now wouldn’t it?

©         You can wear your jacket instead of having to feel like you are supposed to be wearing his.

©         You can paint each of your toe nails a different color and not worry about what he will say.

©         You can spend the day with your daddy! He’s loved you your whole life! Don’t have a daddy? Spend the day with your Heavenly Daddy. He’s loved you even longer!

©         You can eat a whole gallon of ice cream and not have to answer to anyone, well maybe your parents!

©         You can write a love poem or letter to God instead of feeling like you should write one for your bf.

©         You don’t have to share the couch! Hog it girl!

©         Liked that movie you picked out earlier in this list? Watch it again!

©         You don’t have to wonder if your bf will like the shirt you just tried on. If you like it, buy it!

©         You can dance around your living room like you are Ginger Rogers! Don’t know who Ginger Rogers is? Go on YouTube and look her up! I bet it will help you figure out what movie you want to watch.

So, if you are single (like me) and don’t want to sulk on being single, remember this list and live up your Valentine’s Day! Grab some of your single friends (girls and guys!) and have some fun! Just because your single doesn’t mean you can’t have fun on Valentine’s Day! Just remember who loves your more than many one else possibly could!

Did you know that Haylie's favorite ice cream is Ben and Jerry's Chunky Munky?

Thoughts From an Old Romantic~ Zachary Tingle

An excellent wife, who can find?

For her worth is far above jewels.

The heart of her husband trusts in her,

And he will have no lack of gain.

She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life. – Prov 31:10-12

            “Papa, when will my Prince come and marry me?” Grace’s innocent eyes queried her daddy’s. Without waiting for the response she continued, “I think he will be big and handsome and he will take me to his castle, don’t you?” Her eyes still sparkled with the anticipation of being swept off her feet and carried off to live happily ever after.

            Laugh lines creased her daddy’s eyes as smiled at his six-year-old daughter’s questions. They had just finished watching Sleeping Beauty and Grace’s imagination soared with the possibilities of who her prince would be.

            “Sweetheart,” he began as he pulled Grace into his lap, “do you remember who your Mama and I told you was the King?”

            Grace nodded her face shifting to the deep gravity only attainable by a child, “Yes sir, God is the King.” Her face morphed to an expression of joy and pride. “But I am His princess.” She finished with a curt nod to reassure any doubt that might have been entertained.

            A light chuckle accompanied the smile that softened her daddy’s face. “That’s right Sweetie, you are God’s little princess. Do you know what being God’s princess means?”

            A small frown creased the skin between Grace’s eyes as she mentally wrestled with the enigma. Finally, after a few seconds of thought her face cleared, “It means I have to marry a prince.” She stated matter-of-factly. “And,” she continued, “you are my knight who has to protect me from bad guys until the prince gets here.”

            This time her daddy’s laugh was full and ringing. Grace didn’t know what was funny but decided she like hearing her daddy laughing and joined him with her small giggle and hugged his broad chest with her small arms. Still chuckling her daddy nodded, “You are exactly right Sweetheart, just don’t forget that.”

            Grace hugged her daddy even tighter, “You’re always gonna be my knight, even after my prince comes for me.”

            Years passed and Grace gradually became more cynical. She no longer believed that a prince would walk into her ever-so-average life and sweep her off her feet, though she still wished for it so badly it hurt sometimes. As she grew she blossomed into beautiful young woman of 16 when the first of many attempts to steal her heart began.

            His name was Chris and he was nothing like the chivalrous prince she had envisioned as a child, but he was cute and popular and he told her how pretty he thought she was on a daily basis. Grace had heard that he wasn’t a good guy, but he was the only one who paid her any attention and she reveled in his compliments (though a few made her blush and tell him not to be inappropriate). When Chris was around she found it difficult to focus on her tasks, always wondering what his astute mind thought of her at the moment. As time went on Grace began to subtly shift the way she dressed and did her hair. She did not necessarily change on purpose, but thoughts of what Chris would think cluttered her mind as she readied herself for school. Grace knew her daddy wouldn’t approve of Chris, but she loved hearing that she was beautiful and that Chris wanted her around. Gone were the days of regarding her daddy as her knight-protector. She lost track of the promise she made to him nearly ten years before in the euphoria of being pursued and wanted. She forgot that she was supposed to be waiting for a prince. She forgot who the King is.

            This story could end in a myriad of different colors. It could end in the soft ivories and warm rose hues of happiness and contentment. But, considering the kind of man Chris is, the story will most likely end in blazing reds of anger, the black of depression, and the grays of indifference to all things romantic. The yellows of cynicism and the greens of jealousy (for the happiness others girls seem to posses) will most likely follow.

            Much of the pain of this encounter could have been averted had Grace remembered a couple of things. The first and most important thing Grace forgot was how deeply the King loves her (John 3:16). In the midst of fleeting admiration from Chris, Grace forgot how much more she is admired the King. The second thing Grace forgot is that she was to be waiting for a prince who would be her husband. Proverbs 31:12 says that an excellent wife will do her husband good all of the days of her life. That is a pretty big statement, it doesn’t say that she will do him good from the day that she meets or marries him. It says all of the days of her life. That means she will be striving to bless her husband by her actions even before they meet.

            I can confidently speak for myself and my fellow princes in Christ. There is nothing more beautiful or attractive than a woman who is secure in how the Lord perceives her and has tried to bless her future husband with her day-to-day actions and decisions. Prov. 31:10 says that her worth is above jewels (which was the most valuable form currency in that day), Lemuel is saying that a woman who fits this bill is more valuable than the most valuable object available at the time. This is the list paraphrased:

-          She delights in working or creating with her hands

-          She knows where to find food when the budget is tight

-          She is up early to make sure everyone is fed and cared for

-          She is business savvy  and knows how to reuse money for gain

-          Her body is strong and fit

-          The supplies of her household never run low

-          She knows how to create (especially were items of the home are concerned)

-          When there are leftovers she is generous to those who are needy

-          She has provided her family with warm clothing for winter

-          She dresses well and provides good clothing for her husband (and he is respected)

-          She carries herself with strength and dignity

-          She is wise and teaches with gentleness

-          She is not idle

This list is pretty crazy, it is not one of those things to try and tackle in one day, or even in one year. This is the list of what a woman will become if she actively seeks to do her husband good all of the days of her life. One of the final lines is the keystone to all of this. “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.” (v. 30). Grace fell into the trap of trying to appear charming and beautiful and did not fear the Lord. I speak from personal experience that a woman who fears that Lord is radiantly beautiful and almost irresistibly charming.

            As Valentine’s Day approaches and we hear and see the elements of romance around, refocus of the King. He has plans to make you prosper, plans that will not harm you (Jer 29:11). The King’s love is so much more complete and consistent than any love a man can give. We (men) are sinful and fallible, but the King is consistent and perfect in His affection for you. Whether the Lord has blessed you with a significant other or not, remember who Love is and to whom our first love is due.

Happy Valentines & God Bless,

Zach

P.S. Something to consider: God has given each of your dads to you as protectors and guardians, it will bless both you and him to give him a place in the season of dating or courtship. For those of you who don’t have a dad who follows the Lord, still invite him in (it might be a cool opportunity to share Christ) but also seek Godly male council (preferably a pastor or maybe a best friend’s dad – with her permission of course) on the men in whom you are interested. 

Did you know that Zachary has skied off of a roof?!

Single on a Couples Holiday~ Nataleigh Robinson

Hearts and flowers and candies…Oh My!  If you’re anything like me Valentine’s Day is not a day that produces tingly feelings and butterflies in the stomach.  In fact it probably produces feelings of loneliness and a deep longing to have that special someone at our side.  For many girls that deep longing can turn into such desperation that you’ll do practically anything to get a date for just that one day.  But I have news for you…it is very possible to be single on Valentine’s Day and still have fun.  Let me repeat that: You do NOT have to have a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day to have something to celebrate.

Still I know how difficult it can be hard not to feel down about not having someone special when all your friends are celebrating the night with a candle light dinner at a fancy restaurant.  Fear not there is hope and with a little work you can still have a great Valentine’s day.  So here are 10 tips to make the best of your holiday.

1. First off, DO NOT define yourself by your relationship status. You should never identify yourself by whether or not you are in a relationship.  When you find yourself wishing you had someone this holiday just remember that it’s better to be single than to be in a bad relationship.

2. What better time than Valentine’s Day to start thinking about the qualities you want in your future husband.  Take some time to write a list of all the things that you really want in the man you marry, don’t be afraid to put down qualities such as “has a good smile” or “plays sports” but be sure to put down qualities such as “puts God above all” and “respects authority”  Then take some time to pray over your list and ask God to keep your future husband pure until the day that you are brought together.

3.  Since you’re already thinking about your future husband, why not spend some time thinking about the future you.  Think about the type of wife you want to be and start working on becoming the person your dream partner would fall in love with.  Start preparing now to be the wife God wants you to be so that you’ll be ready when Mr. Right comes along.  

4. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of all those cooing couples. Even if you usually enjoy eating out by yourself or you think it would be fun to go and see that movie you’ve been dying to see, think about how you’ll feel when you’re sitting there alone watching all those couples making kissy faces at each other.  Trust me it’s not worth the torture.

5. Do something special for yourself.  Go on a shopping spree and get yourself something new to wear to school that day.  Dress up and look your best.  If you feel good you’ll be more confident and you’ll find it harder to let your mind slip into the insecure thoughts that threaten to make you feel like you’re not good enough or like no guy could ever love you.  Cause I can tell you that those are just lies from the Devil who hates when you feel secure with who you are and loves making God’s creation doubt itself.

6. Try to resist the temptation to comfort eat.  If you feel the need to stuff yourself full of ice cream and cookies and chips than you’ll only feel worse about yourself in the end when you gain a pound or two.  You’ll feel much better about yourself if you treat your body right. 

7. Get out and enjoy nature.  Valentine’s Day is my favorite day to go for a long walk and spend time in God’s presence.  Take some time to enjoy God’s creation.  Whether there’s still snow on the ground or the grass is just starting to peak through take a moment to breathe the fresh air and thank God for being Valentine

8. Have a single’s party.  Invite a bunch of your girl friends over to celebrate being single together.  Set up your own candle light dinner and rent a comedy and just have fun laughing together and building relationships that are deeper than just a quick fling.  Maybe you even want to take some time to write out the perfect husband list from #2 together

9. Volunteer somewhere.  According to 1 Corinthians chapter 13 there is much more to love than just pretty flowers and romantic feelings.  Maybe you would rather spend your Valentine’s Day showing true love to those who rarely get shown God’s love.  What better way to experience God's love than to share it with others

10. Be content and be thankful.  Remember that being single is a gift.  You more than likely won’t always be single and when you finally meet the perfect man, get married and start you’ll lives together you’ll start to realize all the things you can’t do now that you have another person to think about.  Make the most out of this time that you have, do the things that you’ve always wanted to do because this time won’t last forever.

Whatever you do this Valentine’s Day don’t let a couple-driven culture define your choice as something wrong. Be a trendsetter.  Enjoy being different.  Learn to be happy with yourself and avoid following the crowd. 

Did you know that Nataleigh has never sung in the shower?!

Did you know that Abby has a large family of 10?!

Photograph property of Lilies Among Thorns Magazine. Photograph taken by Abby Whear.

Valentine's Day~ A Single Article by Haley Oscar

Ever been to a roller rink, having a great time and then BAM couples skate? I remember so many times that happened to me, I'd stand there alone while all the "happy couples" danced their way to love. (So I thought, it was Jr. High everyone thought that way, right?) Valentine's Day always felt like that to me. I have never been in a relationship where we spent Valentine's Day together, I have always been single. I always hated it because all my friends would be out with their boyfriends and I sat at home with my family. I had the woe is me attitude and didn't really want much to do with the holiday.

If you’re single this Valentine's Day try to get out if you can! Chances are, you are not the only single person in the world. Being dateless can be fun, if you have the right mind set! Have a girls day, take each other out for dinner and then a movie, have girl dates! If that doesn't work out you can do a mother daughter date, or a sister’s date. Or better yet! Have a date with God, almost every year on Valentine's Day I spent my time with my head in my bible and in prayer. Valentine's Day is about showing love to others, not just the boy you've had on your mind. This year try to find some way to show God's true love to another person. Offer a couple with many kids to baby sit for free, so they can go out and have themselves a much needed date. Trust me, they will thank you! 

 Remember, being single is a good thing in your teen years, if you are in a relationship remember to be wise with how much you give your heart and mind to this person. The more you give the harder it is to let go, guard your heart! I'll leave you with something my youth pastor has said to me many times over the years, and something from my dad, who is also a pastor.

“Specifically, what would I wish guys could tell girls would be help us make the right choices by not letting us in. Song of Solomon says in three separate chapters (2, 3, & 8) to not “awaken love until it so desires.” Well the problem lies not in love, but in man; specifically boys. They think that they need to awaken love when it’s knocking at their door. They think that because they are “feeling” the need for love that they need to feed that desire. Well, like too much Thanksgiving dinner, too much love is painful.

Ladies, when the guys come around wanting to awaken love with you and date and be close, it’s your job to but the deadbolts on the door of your heart. You must not allow the young and foolish man to draw close to you. Friendship, group hangouts, and meaningful conversations are great, but once you open the gate to one cow (or dating exercise) the whole heard wants in as well.”- Pastor Nick Hubing

“One of the tragedy’s of modern culture is that they sell a bill of goods to a generation of young women that is possibly the most destructive ever seen. If I could tell all teenage girls something, it would be this- please don’t look to this world to tell you who you are, what you need for fulfillment, or how you should live to be happy. The world’s definition of all of these is a lie, and it’s a carefully crafted lie that although cleverly disguised, is meant to destroy you.

As you mature, use these years to allow Jesus to tell you who you are, what you need to do, and who you are meant to be. He loves you more than His own life, and will never lead you down the wrong path.

Prov 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.” – Pastor John Oscar (Aka daddy!!)

I hope you take these words into your heart and dwell on them this Valentine’s Day.

I’m praying for you all!

Loving Yourself~ A Spiritual Article by Rachel Melillo

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”  - Matthew 22:37-39

Love.  Love.  Love.  With Valentine’s day coming up sooner and sooner every day, Love is everywhere.  But these verses focus on a slightly different type of love, the agape kind of love, not the eras kind of love (‘Eras’ being the Greek word for romantic love). 

The first reference to love is used by the Greek word ‘agapeseis’ which translates (as literally as possible) to ‘you shall be loving’.  The root of the word, ‘Agape’ we often translate to ourselves to be something along the lines of ‘love unconditionally’.  The suffix “-seis” is the command form of the verb agape, adding in the ’you shall’.  Jesus didn’t say this as a ‘as a good idea, you should…’  No, he was very specific in what he said as it was a commandment. 

Normally, people focus on the fact that we should love God and then others…but I’ve noticed that they leave out the ‘love yourself’ part of the verse, and it’s super important.  When I think about it, if you cannot love yourself with the agape kind of love, it’s hard to love God with your entity, and it’s even harder to love those around you.  How many times have you said to yourself, “Ugh I wish I were skinnier.”?  -Raises hand- I know I have.  How many of you have said “Why can’t I be as skinny as her?”  Again, I’m guilty.  When it comes to that question, you’re guilty of breaking both the greatest commandments.  In one sense, you can’t love God because you’re not loving the person that he’s created you to be, and you can’t love the person that you’re envying because you begin to resent that person (and God) for being the way they are.  Whether its subconscious or conscious, it happens, and that’s a problem. 

So what do we do about it?  I’m sure we’ve all heard the ‘You’re perfect the way you are’ speech, but does that ever do any good?  Well, sometimes it does, but most of the time we simply brush it off and refuse to believe it.  I’m not going to claim to have all the answers.  That would be silly of me, considering I’m only eighteen and I’m still trying to figure out my life.  Advice I do have for you, however, is to become comfortable with who you are.  Stop envying other people.  I’m not the skinniest person on the planet (not even close!), but for the most part, I’m fairly comfortable with who I am.  And while I continuously struggle with loving myself, I can handle being comfortable with who I am.   

So this Valentine’s day, instead of focusing on the boyfriend you do or don’t have, focus on how you can love God, yourself, and others. 

Valetine's Day Outfit Ideas~ By Madeline Hunt

Because Valentines Day is quickly approaching, some of you are probably contemplating what to wear.  Using nine pieces, I have created three outfits. One for if you are going on a date, one for hanging out with friends, and one for embracing the joy of being single!

 

 

 

 

Top row L to R. Embellished cardigan- Old Navy $29.50, Soft Drape T- American Eagle $19.50, Grey hoodie- Kohl's $12.99

Middle Row L to R Denim Pencil Skirt- Old Navy $29.50, Artist Jeans- American Eagle $39.50, Yoga pants- Aerie $29.50

Bottom Row L to R Romantic Lace Cami- Aerie $19.50, Fashion drop earrings- Old Navy $8.50, Febee bow flat- Payless $22.99

 

Outfit #1-"I'm going on a date"

For this outfit I chose the cream embellished cardi, denim pencil skirt, lace cami, circle earrings, and the brown flats. For a date on valentines day- I think dressing up is fun and especially if you are going to a nicer restaurant a must. This outfit totals at $109.99, but if you used some of your own pieces then it could cost allot less.For example subbing in a red or pink cami that you already own would be super cute! The point of this is to give you an idea of what to wear, not force you to spend tons of money! If you live in a cold weather state I would also suggest wearing brown tights.

 

Outfit # 2- "I'm hanging with my girls"

I think this outfit is cute and chic featuring the jeans, drape T, flats and silvery earrings. Even when you are hanging with your gal pals its still fun to dress a little nicer then normal. This outfit costs $90.49 but you could totally use a pair of jeans you already have. by the way I love the Artist jeans from AE they are so comfy!! Accessorizing is important when you wear a basic tee and jeans so make sure you pair this with a cute necklace and earrings or a cute scarf!

 

Outfit # 3 "I'm so happy I'm single right now so tonight is going to be a night of chocolate and Pride and Prejudice" 

 

Hoodie,check. Drape T,check. Yoga pants,check. Cute socks,sort of check.  This is night night to be comfy and be happy that you don't need a guy to fill you up. You probably noticed I didn't put a pair of socks in that first picture- well I looked but I couldn't find any cute ones online- Try Delia's in store they have tons of fun patterns! Total outfit cost comes to ..... $ 61.99. Again this is just an idea so your yoga pants are just fine. :) Have fun watching movies eating chocolate and reading the greatest love story ever written- God's word!

 

Have a very happy Valentine's Day!

Please remember that not all clothes are modest on everyone, please don't use my words as justification to go against your modesty standards!

Your True Valentine~ An Inner Beauty Article by Renee Arnold

With Valentines Day in the air you may be excited because you have a special someone in your life to share it with or you may be depressed because all your friends seem to have boyfriends and you don't. Either way you need to know that your relationship status doesn't determine your beauty. You may not feel beautiful but you definitely are in God's eyes. You are his princess and he wants you to know that.

  Feeling like you're unloved can make you feel miserable. Just know that God doesn't look at how many Valentine's Day's you were without dates, he doesn't measure you by the world's standards. The world may say that you need a boy in your life to be happy but you know that all you really need is God. 

  It is dangerous to base your worth on if you have a boyfriend or not because that's not what God intended for you. He wants you to lean on him for support and not relay on anyone else for your happiness.

So this Valentine's Day, remember that you are special even if you spend it single!